As Clean As It's Gonna Get . . . For Now

last sunday (christmas eve) we hosted my folks for a very nice and decent (thank goodness!) dinner. per usual when we have company coming over, we go into super cleaning mode. which isn't to say that our house is spotless, because it's not. which for sure would be a huge surprise to my coworkers, as i keep my work area, especially my desk, positively pristine. then again, it's a pretty small space, so it's easy to do.

and because we're hosting my twin and her husband, we wanted the house tidy, so we dusted, vacuumed, mopped, and scrubbed. and i'm happy to report that my barbie bathroom (how the adorable one refers to it) is even cleaner than normal.

what depresses me is that we are not slobby, messy people. but you would never know it some times as we are not on any kind of cleaning schedule. and while we keep the house relatively picked up, the kitchen counters wiped down regularly, the laundry done, our cars gassed up, bills paid on time, etc., we're not just good at cleaning every week. most of the time we do a surface cleaning as neither one of us likes to clean--to us, even though we don't hate our jobs (they just don't inspire us), the idea of doing one more thing that we don't want to do, is just too much most days.

isn't that sad? i mean, seriously, we've cut down on the clutter, we reduced the number of magazine subscriptions, and we don't leave clothes on the floor or dishes in the sink. we're just lazy on dusting and yes, some times ensuring that our bathrooms are not schmutzy. it's embarrassing to be sure, but that's the reality of the situation. while it may only take 20 to 30 minutes to make my bathroom presentable, by the time i get home from the office the only things i'm interested in are my pajamas, the couch, and what's for dinner. seriously.

so in the meantime, barbie's dream house bathroom is shiny clean and i'm gonna enjoy it.

My Flag Football Hero

when my supervisor asked if the adorable one would be interested in playing on his flag football team, i knew the answer would be a resounding "yes!" as the adorable one not only played high school ball, but is an avid college ball and nfl fan. so now the adorable one is the quarterback of the team with his golden throwing arm while i serve as deputy cheerleader and team photographer.

personally, i think the zildjian t-shirt goes with his super cool shiny cleats and rockin' red socks--he definitely exudes the perfect mix of slacker drummer with sports star. so, it's almost a shame they have actual jerseys, but i'll shout for the ravens nonetheless!

Broken Promises

in my 20s and early 30s, i did a lot of stemware collecting. can't say why, but i fell in love with a lot of stuff from pier 1, martha stewart, williams-sonoma, etc. very fortunately, we have a very nice china cabinet (thanks mom and dad!), a glass rack (thanks robbie!) that hangs from the dining room ceiling, and decent cabinet space. as it happened, we also received several lovely sets for our wedding a few years ago. so, we're full up on stemware. and dish sets, but that's another post (and bane of the adorable one's existence!).

my parents have several beautiful sets of china that was bequeathed to them when my grandparents passed away, so one day my mom casually inquired that because they weren't sure i was going to get married (this was obviously before the adorable one came into the picture), would i be interested in their wedding china. which i loved because it was their's. it's simple white china with a silver rim. simple, classy, and my mind, perfect.

and when we have people over, i usually pare the dishes with clear glasses or if we're having champagne, black mikasa flutes, which i originally found when the lawrence riverfront mall was in existence and a mikasa outlet was a favorite shopping destination with my sister.

so with all this terrific stemware, i promised the adorable one that we didn't need any more. that was until pier one tempted me with the above argent stemware. i doubt the picture shows it, but the glassware features a silver rim, which would perfectly match our china. and in the catalog, each piece is on sale for $5 (usually it sells for $8). the problem is that i would want the flute, goblet, and wine glass. which would total $60. and while that's probably not terrible for three sets of matching stemware, we just don't need it. and don't really have an ideal storage place. so, you see my dilemma, right?

i would like to say that i am not going to be foolish and break my promise to stop buying stemware, but i think we all know better. so yes, it's times like these where i wish i had more resolve. and a lot more cash!

Just Things I Find Interesting

while i am very glad that we have a new, high-efficiency furnace, i still find myself cold a lot of the time in the house. i'm thinking this is due to the fact that i tend to be inactive while i'm home. still, i hate being cold, so i guess i'll have to do more stuff that needs to get done--cleaning, organizing, etc. to be comfortable, as our thermostat is usually at 72 degrees, although at night and when we're at work it's set at 68 degrees.

another thing i've noticed is that i almost can't get the water hot enough in my morning shower. it used to be that it was almost a half-and-half mix of the hot and cold water, but now i have the hot water cranked all the way up and barely any cold water on. i find this odd. and weird. and don't really get it.

our vacation this past week has been nice--not eventful or exciting, but relaxing for the most part. if anyone asks me how it was, i would have to say that the best parts were seeing the bald eagles in lawrence, going to the movies, having breakfast out almost every day, and for sure, waking up whenever we felt like it. let's be real, the body was not made to be up before the sun. seriously. it's kinda like how we're not meant to have our cat's teeth cleaned, the same goes for what's meant to be regarding our natural biorhythm. and while i like getting off work at 4:00 p.m., getting up at 5:30 a.m. is a real drain-o.

and i now get how people rack up major credit card bills (not us, please). remember me ranting, raving, whining, babbling, and complaining about us having to shell out a tidy sum for the new furnace and air-conditioner coil thing--all of it totally $3,500? well, instead of draining ye olde checking account, we went ahead and charged it. yes, yes, yes--we know it's wrong and it will cost more with the interest we get charged. we get it.

anyway, due to the fact that we had also, oops i mean me, had gone beserko on the holiday shopping, we had spent more than usual with our main charge card--the one that we use to earn marriott reward points. so, the other day, i get this letter from the company that owns the card and they've bumped our credit like another $3k. which i thought was nice, but it's easy to see how people manage to max out their credit cards. something we do not do. i just get it now.

and next year when we take this week off, we're going to have activities planned. going to the awesome art museum yesterday, as well as all the movies, were fun. but we spent most of our time, truly and seriously, running errands. when i complained to the adorable one that we weren't really having any fun, he said, "well of course we're not having any fun. we're treating this vacation like one, long weekend where all we do is run errands, which is what we do every weekend." yes, he's the smart one in the family.

so, with a year to research and plan for that last week of year, i should do what i normally do and wait until we're off to figure something out. at least i'm consistent, right?

I Definitely Want To Come Back As A Cat

The Hardest Part

of the year is just about here. the holidays will be officially over and it's back to the grind. the fabulous decorations that provide light and cheer will be put away for another year and all we're left with is the gray gloom. and while it hasn't been horribly cold, thank goodness, the overcast, drab days have a way of being a damper.

which is why, in my humble opinion, this is the toughest time of the year. the reality is, there's nothing really to look forward to. and while the stores are already gearing up for valentine's day, i think it's a fake holiday created by the greeting card, floral, and candy industries. talk about a silly excuse to tell someone you love them--you should be doing that every day.

but i digress. how to survive the upcoming coldest months of the year? i've been thinking on that and i'm vacillating between going to the gym and breaking out some coloring books. personally, i'm leaning toward the coloring books, but i think the adorable one has other plans for us. and i have a bad feeling that's sans his fab chocolate chip cookies.

drat!

Yet One More Reason The Adorable One Rocks!

Is It Real?

the last two nights i've had car trauma bad dreams. i can only guess that our flat-tire adventure on monday, after the movie, on the way to the crappy chinese buffet was the culprit for the dream i had that night. in that one, i was driving my car and already had the spare on, due to one flat tire. then i got another flat and this gal, who i was friends with for a long time that i don't talk with any more, took me to to the service station. which was like a texaco or something and the guy said it would be like a thousand dollars to fix both tires and it would take like a day or two. you know it's a nightmare when the cost is outrageous and the time to repair something is ridiculous.

so then my gal pal drove me to taco bell, where the adorable one was having lunch. yet another sign of the apocalypse is that taco bell shows up in your dream. even stranger was that he was eating things like a burger and pizza, which i'm pretty sure is not on the taco hell menu.

my second nightmare, last evening involved me following my sister and my dad in my car. it had been raining so the roads were slick. they were in the left-hand lane and i was in the right-hand lane. the car in front of me stopped ahead and i couldn't stop, so i ended up clipping it and driving on, which is not like me at all. of course, during the nightmare, all i could think about is the damage done to my car.

regardless, i'm really hoping that i'm going to have non car-related dreams tonight as i am not sure how much more i can take. reality is so much easier to deal with.

I Don't Know What To Think

i've been a control freak as long as i can remember. which is a long time. i've tried to manage not only expectations regarding my life, but obviously the outcomes. there's a lot i haven't seen coming (the furnace pooping out earlier than expected), and certainly there were instances where the handwriting was so clear on the wall that it was practically popping off and following me around.

when we adopted the girls, a week after we lost taylor, it was partially to fill a huge void left by what i considered to be my first born. regardless that he was a cat, to me, he was the son i would have had if he was human. because the girls were born in barn, as we were told, they had all kinds of ear mites, round worms, sniffles, etc. we made sure they had all their shots, boosters, ear drops, cold/cough medicine, etc. we bought them tons of toys, science diet cat food, treats, etc.

and they have flourished. they are happy, healthy, and active. and i think they like their life with us. we sure as heck love them as much as we would love children that were ours genetically. so, when the vet told us this morning that the girls, both of them, have some odd growth in their ears and that they will have to see a specialist, i felt my stomach twist into knots. i can see what the appointment in one month's time will be like--us carting the girls to the vet specialist, him running a gazillion tests with long scopes that peer into their ear canals, them squirming, and us feeling sicker and sicker to our stomachs.

if you ask me if it's worth it, i don't know what i would say, except that i can't leave stones unturned and i must do what i feel is in the best interest of our girls. while it may be nothing, a benign polyp at worst, i'm saddened, horribly, that our girls have to suffer anything. all i want is for them to continue being healthy, happy, and safe.

but the reality of life is that you can't protect anyone or anything from getting hurt or sick or whatever. if i sound like a downer, well, that's how i feel. i can't save the girls from the upcoming appointment. i can't save nikki from getting her teeth cleaned this summer because she has a tartar buildup and we have to protect her teeth as best we can.

i don't know if that makes me a good parent or if i'm doing more damage to their nature, as they are not meant to be indoor creatures. cats were not meant to have their teeth cleaned by humans--their natural diet of mice, birds, and other rodents did the job, believe it or not.

what i do know is that we love our girls, more than life itself and there's no end to the earth that we wouldn't go for them. and hopefully that will be enough.

Really Cool

the adorable one has been corresponding with his biological daddy for the past eight months and has also had a couple of phone conversations with him. this is noteworthy because the adorable one's daddy left when the adorable one was four and doesn't remember anything about him. in talking with the adorable one's sister earlier this year, we found out that his daddy wanted to connect with him, so we started off by writing letters. and recently the adorable one has picked up the phone to talk with him, with good success.

now, keep in mind that the adorable one is 39, so it's been 35 years since he's seen his daddy. and why i refer to the adorable one's father as his "daddy" is beyond me, but it comes out of my mouth like that every time. like i've reverted to a southern accent or something. it's weird.

anyway, i know his daddy wants us to visit next year, but we owe his folks (his mom and stepdad, whose been a father to the adorable one the entire time and who the adorable one considers his dad), who live in a suburb of salt lake city (no, they are not mormons) a visit, as we've seen them once in like three years and that was like a one-day deal. so hopefully next labor day, we'll be hanging with his totally cool folks.

his daddy, for who the adorable one is named, lives in kilgore, texas, which is a good ten hours of drive-time away from us. i am hopeful that we can find a cheap flight to dallas, and drive the two or three hours to kilgore, but we may have to wait until 2008. especially since we also owe the adorable one's sister a visit--she lives in bamberg, south carolina, and a trip to my little brother, who lives in arlington, virginia.

and yes, we are hauling up to plymouth, minnesota to see my sister, brother-in-law, nephew, and new nephew this coming april--but as everyone knows, it's really to see the new arrival and drool and coo all over it. here's hoping its diapers aren't super poopy, because i'm not a fan of poopy diapers. hence, another reason i'm not a parent. i think even if you're not a fan of poopy diapers, you still handle the poopy diapers.

okay, where was i? oh yay, i got lost in another tangent, which happens all too often. the point is, it's wonderful that the adorable one is connecting with his daddy. i know it's not easy for him to talk with a person who is somewhat a stranger, but i think it's getting easier. and i do wish that we could visit him sooner, but i don't know how to make it happen time-wise or budget-wise.

the important thing is, they are talking. and laughing. and wanting to see each other. yup, it's positively goosebump worthy.

Both Highly Recommended

matthew mcconaughey (dreamy!) was quite good, but i think matthew fox was the heart of the flick. they really got the feeling of the period perfectly, and the other performances by stalwarts ian mcshane (simply the best actor on "deadwood") and david strathairn, as well as anthony mackie as nate ruffin were spot on.

we liked this flick as well--all the performances were terrific, especially matt damon. it was a bit long and i can't say that i would sit through it again, but it was so well done--once again, hollywood is supreme at getting the details of the period perfectly--amazing stuff. and although angelina jolie's character seemed underwritten, she wasn't horrible. which is saying a lot.

Time To Partee as We're Celebrating Our First Blogiversary

so i totally didn't realize, truly, that i started this blog about a year ago. okay a year and two days to be exact. some times it seems like i've been posting for much longer and other times it seems like i just got started. certainly there were instances where i wish that i could have fast-forwarded time, to get to vacation or zip past a tough patch.

based on a few past postings, it's been a interesting year for me, and in typical fashion, lotsa highs and lows. but despite the ruts, things have evened out. for example, previously i would have allowed a flat tire to wreck my entire day. but that kind of neurosis is behind me. thank goodness!

i can't imagine what the next year will bring, but for the first time, in a very long time, i'm hopeful. hopeful that i'm finally gonna get my lazy ass to the gym. hopeful that my career is gonna continue on a positive note. hopeful that my family relations remain friendly. hopeful that the girls stay happy and healthy.

and hopeful that the adorable one and me make it a point to tell each other, every day, as much as we can, that we love each other.

so dear readers, thanks for sticking with me this first year. stay tuned for further adventures!

Very Interesting

i was talking with my sister this morning, having our usual saturday morning conversation where she asks me a gazillion questions and i barely get in a word edgewise as the next question is being fired at me before i get one answer out, but that's how it is. i've kinda learned to talk over her just to say one or two sentences as i tend to have a short temper and don't like being cut off.

anyway, we're talking about the baby, as she's due in march, which we are all quite excited about it. well, i should say, me, my parents, and my brother are all champing at the bit to meet the newest member of our family. i imagine my sister will be happy when she's not pregnant, as pregnancy is quite taxing on her. for starters, my sister is in great shape and quite trim, so the extra weight is hugely exhausting. and pregnancy, from what i hear, is just a tiring experience as you're working for two people.

and while occasionally i do hear loud ticking to have a baby, i'm simply too selfish and would make a wretched, horrid mother. i can say this because i like our life the way it is. i don't like working around other's schedules and that doesn't work with a baby--you pretty much are on their time, all the time. plus, i have a terrible feeling i would be very overbearing and have the kid bundled up when it's 80 degrees outside. just a recipe for disaster. the adorable one is not fond of kids either, so it's never been an issue.

i mostly detest kids as they've ruined meals, shopping expeditions, movies, sporting events, etc. no matter where we go, there's one squalling at the top of their lungs, howling, kicking, and being a nuisance. i blame the parents who do nothing to discipline their little monsters. frankly, if it was up to me, kids would not be allowed on planes, at vacation resorts, and i would pay more to go to a kid-free movie theater, grocery store, etc. so yes, i hate kids.

i do like my nephew--he's a sweet kid, although spoiled rotten. i can say that as i am partly responsible for spoiling him. i can't say "no" and he knows it. so, he's got me wrapped around his pinky finger big time and i don't mind it. we've bought him a shitload of presents and the new baby is already well on its way to having every classic pooh item from target.

anyhoosa, the point i was going to bring up is that my sister mentioned that she is going for her second gestational diabetes test in january since she failed the first one. the adorable one mentioned that his sister also had gestational diabetes, but from my understanding, the diabetes only exists while the woman is pregnant. i don't know if it means that the baby is automatically diabetic--i think the adorable one's nephew, has it, but i don't know if it's a genetic thing.

i longed to talk to her about diabetes, since i'm a type 2, but there's too much risk that she would put me on the hot seat, every week, on how i'm handling it, if i've seen my doctor, what i'm doing to take care of myself, and on and on and on. it would be endless. my mom would pull the same crap with me, even though it's none of her business. hence, i live in the closet with diabetes.

the strangest part about it, is that my health has improved since being diagnosed. how weird is that? yay, i don't think we would be eating better, losing weight, and starting our exercise program. so, as they say, life works in mysterious ways.

in other news of the weird, i have cravings to drink alkeehol, which is not like me. i've never been a big drinker, but lately i'm craving cosmos, champagne, and all kinds of drinkie drinks. and i've gone somewhat beserko eating cheese and crackers, which the adorable one has allowed us to have around the house--it is the holidays after all!

and i have all kinds of crazy energy. while the adorable one was at flag football practice this morning, instead of staying home and watching the food network, i returned some dvds, gassed up the car, and dropped off a paperback book to the library as a donation. i even made the bed when i got home. how bizzaro is that?

Lost In Thought

it's happened a lot lately. the adorable one and i will be driving somewhere, usually errands, and i'll just space off. i don't even realize i'm doing it until i almost wake up as if i've been in a dream or some other place. i can't say if i have more on my mind than usual, as inside my head always feels like one of those gerbil wheels on speed. in fact, the reason i like going to sleep as much as i do is because i just don't have a constant running commentary going on.

don't get me wrong or think that i'm being annoying, which is always a possibility. i do a lot of thinking all day long. and that is a good thing. i happen to love my brain, i really do. but the break is a welcome relief. no, i don't want to be a vegetable or any less intelligent than i am. just once in a while i need to zone off, to let go, to stop working the synapses so much, which yes, i get you can't control.

i think we all have ongoing conversations and thoughts in our heads, at least i would like to think we do. i just find it interesting when i go somewhere else, mentally. where i lose myself. i forget where i am and what we're doing. and it's kinda weird. but in a lot of ways i like it. i like it a lot.

and as much as a control freak that i am (surprise!), i like being lost. even if it's only for a short time.

Surprisingly Good

The Holiday Spirit

so i heard through the grapevine that the cabbage patch head (cph) has been badmouthing me to the people in her old product line that i will be working with. i didn't expect her to behave unprofessionally like that, i really didn't. it was hard to hear that someone was talking smack about me, especially when i haven't done anything to deserve it.

and it stuck in my caw for a couple of days. i stewed in my typical fashion before falling asleep for a couple of nights--imagining the way i would confront her if the opportunity presented itself. i pictured myself, standing in the elevator doorway saying, "i just want you to know that i don't take it personally that you're badmouthing me to the people in the product line. i get that that the transition is tough for you and i feel bad that you can't handle it like a professional."

of course i can't actually say things like that, especially at work. because in some sense i would be sinking to her level, even by acknowledging her unprofessional behavior. somehow it would lessen me.

so, in the spirit of the holidays (or maybe my old age) i'm just keeping my head up, not saying anything, and hoping that my good work speaks for itself.

frankly, this mature behavior spooks the hell out of me, but it is the season after all.

My Mom Was Right: This Is Damn Good

Wish I Could Be Outed

i bet it seems like i'm obsessed with food as i tend to talk about it quite a bit in this blog. however, since being diagnosed as a type 2, the way i think about food has shifted, as much as my eating habits have improved. for example, i'm still overwhelmingly curious every day about what's for dinner, but i'm never that hungry any more. i care about what we're going to eat, but i can barely eat a fourth of what i used to.

don't get me wrong--i'm not complaining about the lack of appetite--whether it's due to the glucophage or a shrunken stomach--i just don't take in the amount that i did in my overeating heyday. which has led to a continuing loss of weight, looser clothes, more energy, and dare i say it, more spring in my step. for sure, once we actually start exercising (next week? i hope!), i'll definitely need to take in more protein or my blood glucose levels could dip too low.

i've been lucky though. due to my recent bout with the flu, i have little interest in my meals, which has resulted in very normal blood glucose levels, when tested with the one-touch monitor. and all that is good. i wish i wanted to eat more, like even a small afternoon snack, but even if i was hungry, i would be worried that the food intake would mess with my before dinner glucose test. so, the bottom line is, i don't eat a heckuva lot every day.

and i still find that weird. i don't get how i am not starving when i usually only eat a piece of wheat bread with a small amount of peanut butter for breakfast. and maybe, if i can get it in, a piece of fruit. and that's it. lunch is usually a bowl of soup or a small salad, but not much. no afternoon snack, and then a small dinner. for a girl who used to be able to put food away, it's a real change. mind you, again, i'm not complaining!

but you know what i wish? i do wish i could tell my parents. but i would get endless lectures plus the "i told you so!" constantly. no thank you. i would love to tell my sister, but every subsequent conversation would be how i am handling the diabetes, when she doesn't realize we've been handling it since october, and thank you, we're doing really well with it. but her conversations, which are like the spanish inquisition, would make it miserable. she wouldn't even get that i don't have to take insulin or anything like that--we're managing it with medication, diet, and soon, exercise. but it would be question after question after question.

some days, it feels like i'm living in the closet with diabetes. i mean, other than my doctor, the adorable one, and my twin, no one knows. and i guess, that's the way it's gonna be--just doesn't mean i like it or wish it could be different.

Sunday's Supper Is In The Works

my folks are coming over on sunday for supper, so the menu is already planned--we'll start off with a signature salad, which has all kinds of goodies (at least one kind of lettuce, cucumber, red and yellow pepper, carrots, red onion, hard-boiled egg, cooked peas, maybe some mushrooms, and whatever else i can find), buttery crescent rolls, martha's sure-fire perfect roast chicken and greek lemon roasted potatoes, sauteed green beans, and some really good white wine.

i would like my parents to bring dessert, preferably a baskin robbins ice cream pie, but they tend to do their own thing. regardless, it will be nice to get together and have a relaxing meal. with only the green beans to properly cook, the rest of the meal is a breeze. well, i have to hope that the chicken comes out moist, because as my dad accurately pointed out earlier in my cooking forays, my chicken resembled the sahara desert. sad, but true. let's hope for all that i've come a l-o-n-g way from that, but i never quite feel like my parents actually like what we cook. call me nuts (i'm nuts!), but that's how i feel.

i guess, deep down, we just want our parents to be proud of us. problem is, i don't think i'm ever gonna get there, so i just gotta be proud of and happy for me. that's not so tough, right?

The Adorable One Buys The Best Channukah Gifts!

oh plush ice bat, the adventures we'll have! plus, i'll love you all the more because you came from the person who means the most to me.

p.s. you're gonna dig our bed--just hope the girls don't mistake you for an excellent pillow, as they haven't exactly been the best of pals with scoobs. i'm sure you'll get along smashingly, after all you are ice bat!

My Twin Is Funny

and knows how to rake. yup, she's that cool.

Come To Mama

so when it was announced that the cabbage patch head (cph) was being promoted and leaving our group, i had mixed feelings. oh, i was certainly happy alright--the beeyoch has been a thorn in my side for the better part of a year and only in short spurts has the freak acted like a normal person. the problem with her leaving is that i was assigned to her product line, which is full of a lot of people that don't communicate with each other. now, i'm stuck with them.

through the transition process, which started a couple weeks ago, the adorable one repeatedly pointed out that this would be a good thing, and definitely a boost to my career with her out of the way, once and for all. because if had she stayed in our group, she and i would have duked in out for the next promotion you can be sure. as it stands now, there's no competition and when that position does open up, i'm going for it--balls to the wall.

i would also have to say on the blessings side, things are going to work out for our team-building event, which is tomorrow. instead of having a mediocre frou-frou lunch, my supervisor allowed me to make reservations at my favorite restaurant in the city. from there, we'll go on a guided tour of our premier art gallery. and there's no cabbage patch head in sight, laughing loud and long, trying to get attention, because she's lonely.

and i don't say that lightly. there were times, like just a month ago, that she brought a container of jiffy pop popcorn to our weekly staff meeting because someone supposedly gave it to her. now, why did she have to bring it to our meeting? so everyone would ask her about it. why did she show up one day at a division meeting wearing what looked like was an engagement ring, when she has proclaimed to anyone that will listen to her that she hasn't had a date in like three years? because she's lonely. she's single. and is crying out for anyone who will be sucked into her, "look at me! look at me!" gravitational pull. no thank you.

the thing is, because the cph is a friggin' vegetarian, the first thing that came out of her mouth when we talked about organizing our team-building event was that she didn't want to go to some fancy steak house, like the capital grille. which since she doesn't understand or appreciate the value of a fantastical dry-aged steak, it makes sense. but i secretly resented the hell out of her as that was the the restaurant i had my heart set on going to.

so thank you cph for doing us the following favors--thanks for not being there so we could have an outstanding meal. thanks for not making it so the museum security staff is doubled because you're the loudest person in the place ever. thanks for not ruining our time with stories about how many saturdays you worked until 2:00 a.m. at the office.

and if you really want to get me something for channukah, shut your gaping piehole and stay in your area. because as they say, silence is golden.

Bald Eagles Do Live In Kansas

on new year's day, we drove up to lawrence, the college town i lived in for four years at the end of the 1980s/beginning of the 1990s, because we had heard that bald eagles were nesting in certain areas around town until march. sure enough, we went to an area by the city hall and were treated to bald eagles flying by and perching in a tree across from our vantage point. it was amazing. i guess this has been going on for years and we've been oblivious. nothing new there, right?

so when i heard on the radio on my way to work this week that our national bird was back, we headed there right after breakfast. and in the three hours we were there, we saw eight majestic birds. i get that this picture simply doesn't do justice to the gorgeous and quite large eagle that stayed stationary in the kansas river while we peered through our binoculars.

through some exploration we found a tucked away park where another one was perched across the river from us. as we decided to leave, it left its perched and flew right over our heads. that's right, there was a bald eagle soaring 20 feet over us. so cool.

we continued on to clinton lake, where we spotted three by the main lake, and then two more by a remote (and awesome) fishing spot, which will for sure become a favorite destination next spring, summer, and fall--it's w-a-y off the beaten path, quiet, and offers tons of coverage for the fish--perfect. and it's quiet, which is something i like about fishing.

which i bet you're thinking, "right. this chick is such a talker." and you would be right. except when i'm fishing or bird-watching. or sleeping. except that the adorable one says that i occasionally speak in my sleep and i snore. can you believe that? me neither.

but i do believe in the bald eagles.

Here's Our New, Expensive Best Friend

please note: the silver box on top of the furnace is that new copper coil thingy that has to do with the air-conditioning unit, so the actual heating unit is like two feet tall. fingers crossed our heating bills shrink accordingly.

She's Not Dead, As Previously Reported

so, i'm back from being gone what seems like a week, only longer in mental times. i really did want to write this past week, but i had no energy. i think we've all been there, but i'll take you through our journey to hell and back, since it's so interesting and i'm fairly narcissistic.

so sunday night i got really cold. like chilled to the bone. which never happens to me. i think i'm a furnace all by my little old self. for example, at work everyone is cold all the time. but me. who has her little desk fan going all day. it's a cute thing, it really is. anyway, it was freaky that i couldn't stop shivering and my teeth chattering.

i knew, of course, i was in trouble when i woke up monday and everything, even getting out of my pajamas, seemed to be like walking through mud and felt like a herculean effort. i couldn't muster the energy to eat breakfast, was alternately hot and frozen, and by lunch, knew that i would have to go home. the problem was, i was on deadline to get the first draft of a project done for review and one of the folks i needed to talk with, wasn't available until after 2:00 p.m. once that piece was emailed though, i packed it up and headed home.

i was horribly achy and feverish, and thankfully that was it--no stomach distress, no cold, no cough--just the overall icky feeling accompanied by the flu. so i took nyquil and crashed. when i woke up at 4:00 a.m. on tuesday, my fever was at 101, so i left phone messages for my supervisor, emailed my group that i would be out, adjusted my voicemail and outgoing email message, took some nyquil, and went back to bed.

the adorable one, being ever so adorable, showed up at lunch to provide some tlc, which was much appreciated. my fever had broken, i was a little bit hungry, and feeling like i was on the road to recovery. boy, were we wrong. i realized while we were watching tv that evening that i was starting to feel hot again, like i had a fever. yup, it was back. now, what the hell was that about? that's never happened to me.

the adorable one, though, is an expert in not only fevers, but triage (for future reference readers as he doesn't call me grace for nothing). and he explained that fevers can come back and really the only way to get rid of a fever, is to sweat it out. i should have listened to him as he was right in the end, but we'll get there, i promise.

on wednesday, i woke up with a fever, but as i had organized our holiday potluck luncheon, i wanted to be there. so i went to work. and while i didn't feel great, i think it was good for me to be there as kind of a "she's a trooper" kind of thing. maybe i'm mental, but it's hard to be away from work, other than vacation, and not think that people are thinking that you are lying, slacking, etc., because they can't see how sick you feel on the inside, they just can't. everyone always thinks you're just making it up.

but i made it through the day and driving home i realized that the fever had come back, so all i really wanted was to have a relaxing home, bundled up as i was experiencing chills again. which is why i thought it was weird when i walked in the house and it was quite chilly. i checked the thermostat and it seemed fine, but read 64 degrees, which is not what it's supposed to be at when i get home. try 72, which is what it bumps to (from 68) about 4:00 p.m., so i'm comfy when i get home from work.

so, of course, i call the adorable one in a complete and total panic, and beg him to come home and diagnosis our sick (old) furnace. which he does and realizes it's beyond his expertise. so we call a couple of companies--a big one that has a fleet of service guys, and the one that the adorable one likes, which is run by one guy. of course, the part that we needed, a valve, was going to cost $400 and no one had it that evening.

i was boo-hooing and whining and thankfully the adorable one was having none of it. i was ordered to take a long hot shower, to take some ibuprofen, and he would start a fire in the fireplace. he even heaped a super heavy comforter on our bed. which may have done the trick because i woke up the middle of the night, drenched, and i do mean drenched like i had taken a shower. the fever was broken and i went to work, feeling better than i had all week.

the adorable one, being the man of the house, handled the furnace situation, which turned into us replacing our 30-year-old unit, as well as some kind of copper coil thing that has to do with the air-conditioning unit. which is about 15 years old. essentially if it poops out, we'll just swap out the unit, which will be less than if it would have been if we had to replace the expensive coil thing we paid for.

the end result was that i when i came home on thursday, the heat was working and everyone told us it was a good decision, as it will be an excellent selling point when we go to eventually move. like in 2020, which is what it seems like, but that will be another posting. also back was my fever, which lasted for a few hours and then gave up the ghost.

i went to work on friday thinking it was going to be a long, draggy day, but thankfully i was w-r-o-n-g. i ended up having stuff to do so the day clipped along and the adorable one and i came up with a way to best eliminate the furnace expense (for example, no more eating lunch out). and so finally we had a relaxing quiet night at home, where we watched some tv, did a little reading, i took more nyquil and we crashed.

and that my friends was our week in a nutshell. we're alive thanks to the adorable one, who got me through the flu and a dead furnace. let's hope this coming week is a helluva lot less interesting, shall we?

Best Stuff When You Have The Flu

Packed & Pooped

we've had another good weekend, but lordy it was a doozy. as the adorable one and i continue to get our energy back, we are seriously amazed at what we are able to accomplish. and i'm not saying that we've conquered the world, but goodness gracious, we do get a heckuva lot more done. yee haw!

friday night was relaxing--leftovers for supper and a wee bit of tv before crashing at 9:00 p.m. (yes, we are quite the old fogeys). which is why we were up and showered by 8:15 a.m. on saturday. which is a real switcheroo as we used to sleep in late. guess we are a lot less depressed these days--a good thing for sure. after breakfast at our favorite spot, we ran errands for two hours, yet another accomplishment for us as i used to get tired a crabby after maybe an hour of doing stuff.

not yesterday! we stopped by the library, got the adorable one's car washed, picked up best buy gift certificates, went to target for chanukah gifts, came home and wrapped a bunch of items and finished the filling the candy bags for wednesday's potluck luncheon at work. then we saw "blood diamond" (very well acted) and had sushi for supper. which was an awesome way to cap off the day. we distributed our holiday gifts to the people who work there that have become like family and were pleasantly surprised and pleased to receive one in return. wow!

so as you can imagine, after all that unprecedented running about, we were quite the pooped creatures. which may explain why we were in bed at 8:30 p.m. the good news is, the adorable one didn't make me go to his company holiday party, which i don't really enjoy. for one, i always feel a bit odd as i am quite different and outspoken of the other wives, and two, the white elephant gift exchange dissolves into a fight over liquor that you can easily purchase at any liquor store. pretty stupid.

anyhoosa, i thought for sure we would have a relaxing sunday. and we did laze about until 11:00 a.m. and then stripped the bed, put on fresh sheets, started a load of wash, and got the dishwasher going. that of course made us quite hungry, so we headed to our favorite french bakery for lunch and then to the grubstore as i decided to make baked chicken for supper. we also picked up the starbucks gift certificate for my brother-in-law and that is wrapped and ready to go with the rest of the goody package we're mailing to them tomorrow.

i finished another nancy drew mystery and started a new one, and then prepped dinner, which is in the oven. hope it all turns out tasty as even though i try to season everything really well, i have a terrible habit of producing bland-tasting dishes. i suppose it's better than tasting bad, but i tend to be fearful of over-seasoning, when i probably shouldn't be. the worse thing that could happen is that my food would taste salty. and yes, for the record, i cook with sea salt, not that silly table salt crap. c'mon!

thankfully the adorable one is taking my advice and calling his folks, which is a weekly nudgefest, even though they are so wonderful and fantastic. the apple so doesn't fall far from the tree in that family and i'm not saying that because i'm married to the fella--his folks are fabulous. in fact, there are a lot of days where i wish my parents could learn a thing or two about being more hands off. i love my parents but they tend to be smothering at times. boundaries are a tough thing to establish, even at age 38, especially when you live in the same town and they are both retired. but they can be pretty cool. they just need to learn how to call once a week and ask me what i want for birthdays and other occasions. seriously.

so now we're just waiting for supper to be done and then perhaps a wee bit more reading. i think we can safely predict another early bed time and a good night's sleep ahead.

From The Unbelievable But True Files

on the most recent episode of the most fabulous "studio 60" tv show, matthew perry's character said something like, " i'm like the only jewish person with the christmas spirit." in which the adorable one turned to me and said, "that's you this year, for sure." yes, you read it here first and yes, he's right.

i did go completely beserko, much more so than i ever expected, with the whole gift buying thing. and i even organized a holiday potluck luncheon for my work group, which wasn't a big deal or tough. i just didn't expect that anyone would agree to it as it's tough as nails to get us all together, in one place (other than our weekly staff meeting). and true to form, even though i provided a list of items to bring, they are all bringing other things. which is the point of a potluck anyway, so it's gonna be great.

anyway, i sent a meeting invitation to everyone, reserved our usual conference room, posted a sign-up sheet, and will provide a friendly reminder. except that i went kinda overboard on the decorations at a recent trip to party america as i bought matching snowman-themed cups, regular and dessert-sized paper plates, napkins, a paper tablecloth, and (again matching) gift bags that i've filled with candy. it's just kinda batty how overboard i've gone, but i'm good with it, i really am.

i also opted to spend more for dinner theater tickets for my folks when i could have gotten them the basic package, but i wanted them to have good seats. and i'm quite glad that we splurged on best buy gift certificates for our favorite sushi chefs and wait staff, who are more like family than friends, truly.

i bought gifts for just about everybody in my group, including the previously loathed cabbage patch head, who is taking a different position, a promotion, at the beginning of next year. i think even though it was a small gift certificate (she has five pets!), it surprised the adorable one.

i even bought something for the newest member of our group, which i didn't have to do, but thought she would like it (she did). and what has been nice is the appreciation and gratitude for these little tokens of holiday cheer. it's made me feel really super good. and while it's true that i do love presents, and as cheesy and trite as it sounds, it really is about giving.

so this week marks the last of the gift buying, i think. we'll pick up a starbucks gift certificate for our brother-in-law, as we bought more baby gifts for the little one coming in march (however, it must be noted that i should not be let anywhere near the baby section in any target as i go bananas and have this overwhelming desire to buy the baby everything in the classic pooh line and i do mean everything), a really cool dr. seuss book for our nephew, plus bath and body lotion and shower gel for my sister. we'll mail the entire goody package on monday and we're done. that is, unless we buy for our friends that we regularly hang out with. we haven't actually decided what to do yet.

and yes, the visa bill is gonna be a real killer next month, but it's so worth it. and yes, you read that right.

A Tad Preachy, But Extremely Good

Is It Normal?

i just want to know if you like someone, like a coworker, and then they get promoted, is it normal to feel jealous? i opted to not interview for a promotion that a came up and a coworker that i like a lot, one that i usually have lunch with once a month, one that i knew had interviewed for the position with no competition to speak of, it still stung.

am i horrible person, i have to ask myself. i feel bad for knowing that inside i'm jealous versus celebrating for her. it's times like this that i wonder if i'm ever gonna grow up. and the scary thing is, i don't have the answer.

So, I'm A Morning Dawdler & I'm Good With It

when i was younger, like in my 20s, it seems like i used to spring out of my bed when the alarm went off, showered like a tasmanian devil whirlwind, and zipped out of the house. while i don't necessarily have a spring in my step when i stumble out of bed after hitting the snoozinator for the second time, i do make it to the shower and am expedient as possible. i still think someone needs to come up with something like what the jetsons had--you know that nifty conveyor belt which fixed their hair, put them in an outfit, etc. perfect!

anyway, i do alright with brushing my teeth, blowing dry my hair, throwing on my usually icky work clothes, checking my blood glucose level, and dashing out the door. where i get hung up is the ole panty hose dilemma. trips me up every time, especially when i manage to run not one, but two pairs. yay, that's a real winner way to start your day.

so in the end, i don't mean to be a morning dawdler, but that's exactly what happens. how many days until spring?

Okay, So I'm A Sucker For New Products

but i gotta admit, crest's new whitening rinse leaves my mouth tingly and a little goes a long way. maybe i should start advertising my site as a "i'll try it before you buy it" kind of thing. so write in with whatever product you've seen advertised and i'll give it a swirl. and a twirl. and provide a fascinating, kick ass report. how's that for customer service?

What's The Appeal?

the adorable one and i started watching discovery channel's show "everest: beyond the limit," which is terrifying fascinating and addictive. we are two people that despise, nay loathe the bitter cold. and we're not really one for heights either. so watching a show about people who want to climb the world's highest mountain is not something you would think we would enjoy. but we do! and quite a bit.

i've never understood how people would willing put themselves where the weather is like 50 to 100 degrees below zero, your brain cells die, and so many lives have been lost. i just don't get it and no amount of anyone trying to explain the appeal will get through my super thick head.

the show, to its credit, is a testament to the human spirit. i'm just not that brave.

It's So Weird

but i've been overtaken by the holiday spirit this year. i mean it. i've gone gonzo bonkers on buying for a lot of people--our favorite waiters at our favorite restaurants, some of my coworkers, friends that we don't usually exchange gifts with, and the list goes on and on and on. it's bizarro. seriously.

i'm the girl who loves to get gifts, not give them. i don't understand it, except to say that i'm in this super, all-out generous, non-scrooge mood. the adorable one thinks this major shift in my gift-giving conscious has to do with the fact that we're at a very good place in life--our life together is better than ever, our girls are happy and healthy, we have great friends, good relationships with our family, and solid, stable jobs.

all i know is that i'm spooked and will probably be even more so once the visa bill arrives next month. happy holidays y'all!

Happy (Early!) Chanukah Adorable One!

Tick Tock

so monday morning my alarm didn't go off, which meant i had to forgo the shower, throw on my work clothes, and hustle to get a piss-ass parking spot. i had this kinda grimy feeling all day and had a sneaky suspicion that everyone could tell that i hadn't washed my hair.

making matters more interesting, my supervisor announced in a meeting with me and the new gal (she started a couple weeks ago) that the cabbage patch head (cph) had been promoted, but promoted out of our group. essentially she is going to support a corporate product line, versus one in our division. so as of january 1, 2007, she's officially out of our group and out of my hair. oh, she can sit in on our monday staff meeting and i imagine she'll still monopolize our formatting guru, but there will be little if any reason for her to interact with our group.

so my supervisor wants to hire another person (for me to primarily train) by end of year to replace the cph, which makes sense. and he wants me to pick up additional duties--stuff that definitely interests me more and gives me the opportunity to interact with folks in a particular product line--essentially he's grooming me for a promotion. which is great and what i want. i just think that as he "turns up the heat" (his words) it's going to force me to stretch and grow. again, a good thing. but change, in any form, is tough for me. i adjust, i do. it just takes time.

the thing is, my job is fine. it's comfortable. but when i took it, i was coming off being unemployed from the toxic waste dump for eight months. that's a long time to be unemployed. so i took a job that was three steps back for me. it's not a secretarial position, if that's what you're thinking. but some days it sure felt like that. some days it still does. but not so much.

where am i going with all this? not really sure. only that as time is flying by, i feel like my career is getting ready to ramp up. it's been a long wait, but like anything, well worth it.

and the shower this morning? lordy it's the cleanest i've felt in like two days. imagine that.

Unequivocally The Finest Film Of The Year

Just Your Average Every Day Snow Storm

thanks to fucking time warner cable, our modem died on us, so this is yesterday's weather. anyway, life as we know it is back to normal after swapping out our dead equipment for a new piece that works dandy. but, it's still freaking cold outside. was it really 70 degrees three days ago?