A Regular Beehive

it may seem like i write a lot about the women's restroom at work and that would be true. the thing is, it's the only place i can actually get away from the emails, the phone calls, and the general hubbub in my area. and it's the only other place with a door, other than the supply closet. which if it had a cot, would most definitely be a great place to take a nap, which was much needed today.

the point is, the bathroom is normally a respite for me because it's generally:

1. empty
2. cooler than my cube ( i may have mentioned that i run a thousand degrees of hot at all times. arg.)

however, in the past couple of weeks the bathroom has been a hive of activity, which is weird, because when i started at the company about a year ago, i couldn't get over how empty the bathroom was, no matter what time i was in there. now, not the case. no, there are women coming, going, washing their hands for all of eternity to get rid of whatever germs they amassed in the stall, etc.

and here's another thing. i may be in a stall and the rest of the stalls are empty. completely empty. some woman will come in and take the stall next to me, which anyone knows is bad bathroom etiquette. you never want to be next to someone else's stall. hello, privacy! i mean jeez louise, you have no idea of how loud or noisy someone else is going to be.

where i used to work, the toxic waste dump, you could never, ever, ever get a moment's peace to yourself in the restroom because that's where everyone and their dog went to hide out. i even heard a person crying in there once. true story. so, it was quite a nice change to discover actual quiet time in the women's restroom.

what i need is my own potty. because some times, like today for example, when you are in gastric distress, you need privacy. and not having to worry about someone coming in as your body is making strange sounds. yes, this is all gross, but if the mincemeat vixen can discuss bodily functions on her blog, on a regular basis, well the proverbial floodgates have been opened. with that, i'll retire to my pink boudoir. okay, bathroom. at least it's bee free in there!

Have You Noticed

that the sun is always up and shining in coffee commercials? i mean you never see some poor soul dragging their sorry ass out of the bed when it's still dark outside. it's kinda weird if you think about it. a large part of our coffee-drinking population is up way before the crack of dawn, but that demographic sure doesn't get the advertising love. no, it's only those lucky sobs that have all the time in the world to sip and savor their cuppa joe. maybe the idea is that we all wish we could be those bastards, waking up at a decent hour, having time to enjoy a warm beverage before really staring our day.

then again, i don't drink coffee. but i sure would love to live in a coffee commerical. those people have it made.

Some Kind Of Truce

nothing was said. no issues were discussed. but somehow, me and cabbage patch head have buried the hatchet. at least publicly. in fact, if you sat in today's staff meeting, you would never guess that a week ago i was wishing for a meteorite to fall on her. she still isn't my favorite person and i still fear her taking over my job, even though there's enough for both of us. i just get worried that my coworkers would rather work with her than with me. then again, i'm paranoid. just in case you couldn't tell.

My Day In A Nutshell In Case You Care

1. g0t up around 8:30-ish and started first of three loads of laundry
2. decluttered coffee table
3. ate leftover moo shu shrimp from friday night at fortune wok. yum.
4. dusted said coffe table, bay window area, dining room table and buffet, plus the two telephone tables in the living room
5. set the table for dinner with the parental units
6. lightly tidied the kitchen
7. scrubbed my bathroom
8. took a shower
9. switched the last load of wash before heading to cabelas to get fishing lures (we hunt largemouth bass) and our ks fishing licenses
10. went to the grocery store to pick up salad ingredients, asparagus, two bottles of chardonnay (papio and le faux frog), and other ingredients for the big dinnah
11. sent the adorable one to bk for burgers and chocolate shakes while i put away the groceries and folded the laundry
12. began the dinner prep at 3:45 p.m., which included kugel, balsamic-glazed salmon, roasted asparagus, and a funky salad (mixed greens, baby spinach, feta cheese, cherry tomatoes, chopped walnuts, and cranraisins, with a balsamic vinegar dressing)
13. entertained the parents until 7:30 p.m.
14. worked with the adorable one (still recovering from an icky bug) to load the dishwasher and clean the kitchen
15. took a shower and got into my pajamas (otherwise known as my piejams)
16. checked my work email (i'm anal and hate surprises)
17. watched "the l word"
18. crashed from sheer exhaustion

I'm No Sandra Lee

i am not a fan of "semi homemade cooking with sandra lee" on foodnetwork (although i worship paula dean and the barefoot contessa. that lollipop head, giada de laurentiis is alright, but she always goes overboard pronouncing mozarella and ricotta. the horridly annoying rachel ray we'll save for another post, to be sure.).

oh, once in a great while, i'll stop to see what corners she's cooking and occasionally think, "that looks kinda good." but on the whole, i am not one to take shorcuts, especially when cooking. anyway, i will say this for sandra, she can seriously set a table scape. oh my goodness, no matter what the occasion, she can make a table, really an entire room, look really cool for whatever theme she's demonstrating. halloween was pretty amazing, as she did an entire house for this big ass party. makes you wonder what her hubby does, you know?

anyway, i have to confess that i have a serious obsession with the whole table setting thing. and i wish we had the digital camera for thanksgiving, new year's, and even the recent chinese food palooza meal, as i went all out on decorating the table.

tonight, we hosted my folks, so i did something relatively simple.

you can't really see the detail, like the dragon fly napkin rings, or how the placemats compliment each other, or the very cool little centerpiece that featured a black ceramic rectangular tree with three tealights surrounded by flat, red marblethings you buy at pier one (we got them on sale).

anyway, i think it would be tre cool to have a job where all you do is set tables for fancy meals, or theme dinners, or whatever, because it is fun. i am just not sure such a job exists. but i gotta say, it's a blast.

the problem with wanting to do something spectacular every time we have guests is, it usually involves $$ toward something we may not use again, and we are quite full up on plates (four sets including china) and silverware (two full sets, plus our every day stuff). if it was up to me, we would have like 20 sets of plateware. but then the adorable one would kick me to the curb. and life as we know it would be over.

anyway, next time i'll provide closeups. because it's all about the details people!

Positively Perfect

okay, is this deevine or what? found it at the haves-and-havenots grocery store, which we usually avoid like the plague, but damn they have good produce and a kickass wine selection. and it was only like $3.99. and it matches my girlie pink bathroom to a "t." i'm in luuuuvvvv!

Truly A Great Book

one of my favorite professors at ku, dr. tim bengtson, introduced us to this great book. written by the late gordon mckenzie, who worked at hallmark for 30 years to the day, every chapter is a beacon of insight on how to navigate through corporate hairballs. i've read hundreds of books in my life, but this one always sticks with me. so try it, you might like it.

Recipe For A Perfect Saturday Night

start with a gorgeous table setting . . .

add the world's greatest lasagna bolognese in the history of lasagna bolognese . . .

plus a yummy salad . . .

and finish with a few rounds of scene it with our gracious hosts, dan and jan. it doesn't get any better than that. trust us. really.

Mind Over Mattress

in our covey training the past coupla days we learned that there are probably three or four really hard things we have to do every day--get out of bed, make it through work with a minimum of scuffles, go to the gym, etc.

anyway, our facilitator said something pretty interesting and that is, "life is going to jerk you around, every which way, every day." to illustrate his theory, he gently shook a can of coke from side-to-side. the trick, he said, "is not to end up like a pop can that is going to explode--to find something that will keep you from being overly carbonated."

so, it becomes an issue, much like the one we face every day when the alarm goes off--something they refer to as mind over mattress. if i ever figure it out, how it really works, i'll let you know.

in the meantime, if you ever watch any of the covey videos, be sure to notice how his clothes perfectly match the background. and that his ears are incredibly large. in fact, if you don't agree that covey is an alien, then you have bigger problems than mind over mattress. go kick some 7 habits y'all!

More Chuck

just in case you didn't get enough chuck norris facts, now you have a place to buy t-shirts. how cool!

First Off, Then On

we have two sections to our building--the new and the old. the new is, well, newer, and the old, was built like at least 30 years ago. i work in the new half, but as easily and regularly as they move people, i'm sure i'll end up in the old section one of these days. they literally move people at the drop of a hat, and not like down a few floors--no, down a couple of offies. it's true.

anyway, we have a bank of elevators and some times you would think that by the way people dash to get on an elevator or jam their arm whent he doors are closing that it was the last elevator on the planet. but it's not. there are at least five more elevators that will eventually come to whatever floor you are on.

the best part is the elevator etiquette. am i am not talking about the way people stare at the ceiling. no i'm talking about the people that want to rush on to the elevator before letting the other people off. the best day was when i was waiting around for an elevator and there was a bunch of people waiting with me. the elevator door opened and these three people were trying to get out, including this one formidable looking woman. so the people waiting tried to bum rush the elevator, but tuff gal wasn't having any of that.

she actually said firm, loud voice, "first off, then on." you go girl!

Thank Goodness

that new episodes of "veronica mars" have started. finally. she is the coolest chick on tv since buffy, the vampire slayer. i wish i had veronica's nerves of steel, tempered with her whip-smart sense of humor. i mean, don't you wish that you could have a snappy retort to all the people you despise, and not have to worry about any repercussions? don't you wish you could outwit pretty much everybody? and have a kickass relationship with your dad, who you trade witty barbs with? i wish i could think on my feet the way her character does. and have her really cool clothes. and the spy tools. yay, that's what i'm talking about.

Chuck Norris Sleeps With A Night Light

and not because he's afraid of the dark. no, the ark is afraid of chuck norris. and his tears cure cancer. and he has counted to infinity--twice. check out the random chuck norris fact generator. it's a hoot!

7 x 7

as my standing lunch date was home sick with the flu, i perused some blogs i haven't read before. and found another set of questions to answer, so enjoy, cuz you know, i'm just so fasckanating.

seven things to do before i die:
1. get my scuba certification
2. learn to surf
3. go to vegas
4. visit fiji
5a. learn to fly
5b. skydive

seven things i can't do:
1. not be crabby/cranky, because it's just not genetically possible
2. draw to save my life
3. not worry about what other people think about me
4. be addicted to sushi
5. give up diet coke

seven things that attracted me to blogging:
1. i love to write (duh!)
2. i'm a ham (duh!)
3. it provides a great community of superb people to connect to
4. it's fun
5. i love the outlet to speak my mind
6. i found wonderful writers that i enjoy reading every day
7. did i mention i like to write?

seven things i say most often:
1. cool / cool beans
2. awesome
3. that rocks
4. really?
5. sweet!
6. cereal
7. it is what it is

seven books i love:
1. all things harry potter
2. the devil's teeth by susan casey (it's about great white sharks)
3. the entire lemony snicket's series of unfortunate events books
4. everything by beverly cleary, but especially "ramona the pest" and "ellen tebbits"
5. all the hannah swenson murder mysteries
6. the cliff janeway series by john dunning
7. anything and everything by jackie collins (it's my guilty-pleasure reading)

seven movies i watch again and again and again:
1. star wars
2. the lord of the rings: the two towers
3. cold comfort farm
4. tomb raider
5. undercover brother
6. scary movie 3
7. love actually

seven of the last things i've cooked:
1. kugel (see next post)
2. lasagna
3. scrambled eggs
4. mashed potatoes
5. roasted asparagus
6. does microwave popcorn count?
7. roast turkey

okay, people. let's see what you've got. bring it!

You Should Try This

i grew up eating this delish dish that my mom (an excellent cook and baker) would make, especially around the jewish holidays or special occasions. it's called a kugel and it's a noodle casserole. i use emeril's recipe and modify it our tastes, so if you prefer it to be less sweet, leave out the sugar. either way, it's yummee.

ingredients:
1 pound wide egg noodles
4 tablespoons butter
1 pound cottage cheese
2 cups sour cream
1/2 cup sugar
1 cup milk
5 eggs
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract

directions:
preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

bring a pot of salted water to boil. add the noodles and cook until tender, about six to eight minutes. remove and drain. toss the noodles with the butter. in a large mixing bowl, mix the cottage cheese, sour cream, sugar, milk, eggs, and vanilla. mix well with the noodles. pour the mixture into a buttered 9 x 13-inch pan. bake for one hour or until the casserole sets. remove from the oven and allow to cool a little bit before serving.

emeril's recipe offers almost a candied topping you can make with a cup of light brown sugar, two cups of pecan pieces, and a teaspoon of cinnamon. you mix those ingredients and sprinkle the mixture over the casserole before placing it in the oven.

best part is, whether it's more of a dessert casserole or something a wee more sour cream-ish, you can eat on it for a week.

Introducing Nikki

please say hello to abby's little sis, nikki, a.k.a. nikkita, a.k.a. popita, a.k.a the czarina. born in a barn, she was the runt of the litter. and although she's no chewer like her older sibling (a.k.a. chewbaca), she does have a unhealthy obssession with a plastic fishing pole. and cat treats. and having her neck scratched. at 3:30 a.m. but gosh are they fun. and adorable. and total little luvs. and not a wee bit spoiled. :o)

Copycat: Part Deux

in my ongoing quest to prove that imitation is the finest form of flattery, i'm going to post five weird things about me, thanks to the inspiration of the very smart, fun, and funky styrofoam kitty:

1. don't know if it's my diet, but i am a gaseous planet. if the hubbie is jupiter, then i'm easily saturn. maybe i need to cut down on the lettuce. or the garlic. or both. thankfully i am not the stinkbomb that is the hubbie--that man could easily end the war in iraq--all they need to do is ship him over and allow him to gas the caves and i guarantee ole osama bin laden would be running for fresh air in two shakes of a lamb's tail.

2. i have a serious addiction to shows like "miami vice", the original "battlestar galatica", "buck rogers", and other cheeseball shows like "the magnificent seven." this is how bad i had it for "miami vice"--when i was in the catty sorority, every night the usa channel would broadcast the show at 6:00 p.m. and 10:00 p.m. being the overly anal kook at even the tender age of 19, i would reserve the downstairs tv and vcr every day for those times, just so i could either watch and tape, just watch, or watch another taped episode of the show.

also, i get hooked on shows that never make it past the first two or three episodes (for example, "veritas: the quest" starring arnold vosloo of "the mummy" movies). and then i wonder what would have happened if the network would have let the show run all the episodes. i really think i should be in network programming, because i would get rid of drek like that jim belushi piece of crapola and make them re-broadcast great stuff, like the first couple of seasons of "nash bridges."

and all that crap on mtv like "sweet 16", "laguna beach," "made," "rich girls"--can't get enough of it. oh yay, i was a huge fan of "newlyweds" and was actually bummed that jessica and nick broke up. you would never know i'm 37. i'm also strangely addicted to any news about britney spears.

3. like george costanza, i'm a bathroom reader. you would be amazed how much time you can while away on the porcelain throne. the thing is, i'm just the happiest camper in my super pink girly bathroom, reading a good book or crack mag.

4. i like that feeling after having to pee really bad where you feel like all that pressure is off your bladder and you don't have to pee. that's a good feeling. also, i'm secure enough in myself to leave the bathroom door open at home when i pee. meanwhile my modest schmoopie keeps his bathroom door shut. but based on the gases and odors that man can produce, it's a good thing.

5. i love to eat cold leftovers for breakfast--i've even gone so far to eat a cold burger and french fries. yes, i get it, it's weird. okay, i'm weird. i'm good with it.

Have You Ever Wondered

if your car actually drives better after you've gassed it up? or after it's been freshly washed? surely me and the cute one aren't the only nutballs that think this way.

here's another thought--where exactly do birds disappear to at night? seriously. towards twilight, i see them perch at the top of trees. after that, the trees seem empty. is there some great meeting spot of the winged ones? inquiring minds want to know.

4 x 4

i'm not afraid to be a copycat on occasion. have seen the following questions on a coupla favorite blogs including styrofoam kitty and be the boy, so here goes:

four jobs you've had in your life:
1. volunteer coordinator for american red cross
2. assistant editor for weekly alternative mag
3. staff writer for restaurant corporation
4. marketing manager

four movies you could watch over and over:
1. star wars
2. cold comfort farm
3. the lord of the rings: the two towers
4. love actually

four cities you've lived in:
1. kansas city, missouri
2. richmond, virginia
3. clayton, missouri (st. louis)
4. lenexa, kansas

four tv shows you love to watch:
1. veronica mars
2. survivor
3. deadwood
4. the l word

four places you've been on vacation:
1. playa del carmen, mexico
2. deerfield beach, florida
3. beaver lake, arkansas
4. los angeles, california

four websites you visit daily:
1. imdb
2. styrofoam kitty
3. geeseaplenty
4. sassylittle punkin

two bonus sites:
1. i find your lack of faith disturbing
2. the sneeze

four of your all-time favorite restaurants:
1. rosinos in st. louis for best and greatest italian ever and it's not on the hill
2. kyoto for sushi in overland park, kansas
3. the classic cup on the country club plaza in kansas city, missouri for the yummiest pancakes and eggs benedict
4. capital grill on the country club plaza in kansas city, missouri for the best fine dining, delish steaks, and outstanding service

four of your favorite foods:
1. sushi
2. oreos
3. cheeseburgers, onion rings, and chocolate shakes
4. chinese food

four schools you've attended:
1. university of kansas (undergraduate and graduate), lawrence, kansas, and overland park, kansas
2. shawnee mission south high school in overland park, kansas
3. ralph m. captain elementary school in clayton, missouri
4. rosehill elementary school in lenexa, kansas

four places i would rather be right now:
1. florida (pretty much anywhere in the sunshine state works for me), but key west would be first choice
2. vegas (cuz i've never been)
3. mexico (back to el dorado royale, where we stayed on our honeymoon)
4. hawaii (see vegas)

Have To Brag

our inspiration: charlotte's headboard and footboard from "sex in the city." the dilemma: we never found the exact fabric, but liked what we ended up with. the foam: purchased from a little ole shop somewhere in florida. the wood: came from hells depot (our name for home depot, which donated mucho dinero to prez bush's campaign. suckers.)

the end result of the hubby's awesome job:

yay, he's quite the woodworker, am so proud. and yay, that's a scooby doo doll on my side of the bed. can't sleep without my scoobs! here's our girl abby (a.k.a. mabby, a.k.a. mabbypants, a.k.a. the mabster). i know, i know, she's so freaking adorable!

My First Digital Pics

we celebrated robbie's birthday on saturday night at his and dennis' house (like so beyond awesome). here's the artichokes that robbie made from the lidias cookbook that we didn't get to eat because robbie said they didn't turn out okay. they sure looked good . . .

a big thank you to the sneeze for featuring papio. even the super snobby wine snots liked it. which is further proof that you don't have to spend a lotta moola for a decent bottle of vino. we didn't break into the barefoot bubbly champagne, but when we do, a report will be forthcoming.

for the record, robbie's lasaga and dennis's salad were killer. total yum!

Is It Just Me?

or is that cingular ad featuring the theme music from "the waltons" fucking annoying? it's just as horrid as the nokia campaign with that idiot girl talking about how she's deleted her exboyfriend's cell phone number. jeez, can you get any lamer? nah, i didn't think so.

A House Divided

so my beloved steelers proved their mettle and beat the broncos. meanwhile, it looks like the seahawks (the adorable hubbie's team since the dawn of time) will also be heading to detroit. needless to say, come february 5th, there's gonna be a whole lotta hollering going on at our house. better warn the neighbors now. go steelers!

This is me at the office. This is me at home. Grrrrr!

We've Gone Digital

because the adorable husband's digital camera that he purchased through amazon (a long story for another posting) arrived yesterday. the boy with his new toy is like the proverbial kid in a candy store. anyhoosa, get psyched for our first posting, as it's gonna be awesome. promise!

A Little Ole Shout Out

although i am a newbie blogger, i am not new to blogs. so, i think a shout out is due to the folks that inspired me to become a blogger. without further ado, here we go:

Styrofoam Kitty
fabulously funny, snarky, smart, and always interesting. pretty much every day the adorable hubby mentions that he wishes we lived in the same city as styro because she is so cool. plus, she's into mopeds. which makes her even cooler. if that is possible.

Geese Aplenty
one of the best writers, hands down, on the web. period. greg has a style that is distinct and clever and extremely smart. luv, luv, luv reading his entries. just hope he writes a book one day cuz i think he's got the talent to pen a blockbuster.

Sassy Little Punkin
another amazing, gifted writer that i would like to meet in person some day. one thing sassy does is make me want to live in la. and i've been to la and don't want to really live there. but in her world, it sounds like a great place to be. plus, i'm a fan of her blog layout/format--pink is it!

Two others of noteworthy mention:

I Find Your Lack Of Faith Disturbing

if you want insight into the adventures of a successful hollywood screenwriter, check out josh's blog. he rocks. 'nuf said.

The Sneeze
let's face it, anyone that names their blog, the sneeze has my vote. it also happens to be belly-laugh inducing, but thankfully, not sneeze inducing. and that's a very good thing.

I Can't Pee, Therefore I Am Pissed

it never fails. every day between 1o:30 and 11:30, i have to pee. at least once. reason being i is that inhale a can of diet coke, followed by another 12 ounces of water. and having a bladder the size of a pea, well, that doesn't help matters. and no, i don't like long car rides. and yes, i have to talk myself through peeing in airplane lavoratories. so, no, i don't like having to pee on planes.

for some unknown reason to me and my miniscule bladder, there is a cleaning guy that has esp about my urge to pee and regardless of what time it is between 10:30 and 11:30 a.m., i walk to the bathroom and see his frickin cart is blocking the door. so then i have to either retreat to my desk and wait. and wait and wait. or, go to another floor (hello, inconvenient!) to pee.

if i was the paranoid type (okay, i am), i would think that this guy is channeling my bladder. but in reality, i think it's just timing. so between running into the bathroom blocker and cabbage patch doll head, it's a wonder i don't blow a gasket every day. maybe i should just pee on them both.

Wouldn't You Know It: Part II

in further proof that the jezus freak is just that, a freak, i was using the paper cutter by his cube and he's in there talking with some other guy about curtains. now, i work for a very conservative firm, full of men that wouldn't be caught dead discussing anything domestic, unless it's a home improvement project. and he really seemed to be into the conversation.

need more evidence? the guy has no less than three bottles of skin lotion on his desk, and a bottle of purrell (guess we're a germy bunch), and his work space is almost as neurotically spotless as mine. now, it wouldn't be a big deal if he didn't have the requisite pictures of his perfect little family. but this guy is just screaming to be let out the closet. which would be fine. if he didn't walk like he had a brick up his ass.

it probably doesn't help that he gives me strange looks every day. where's my satan sign when i need it?!

I'm So Happy

that american idol is back. i'm already rooting for the gal from the band called catfight. she dresses cool, seems like a neat chick, and has a decent singing voice. and she's in a band. so cool. the two sisters from corntown, usa, are pretty decent, as is that 16-year-old cute crooner that listens to rat pack music.

but what gives with crazy dave that got through to hollywood? i think randy and paula may be doing drugs. stay tuned!

Dear Subway

a few months ago, me and the adorable hubby decided to try your new subway by our house. okay, technically it was not that new. it was just that your store that used to be in one part of the shopping center was knocked down to build a new grocery store. which incidentally sucks as much as your store. so, it's gotta be great that you are neighbors. anyway, we visited your shiny new store which faces the incoming hardware megastore.

anyway, it was kinda late by our standards, past 7:00 p.m. and we were the only ones in your store, other than the lone staff person. we only ordered two sandwiches, which by the way, weren't super-duper complicated. nope, i had the meatball sandwich and adorable hubby had the italian bmt. but your gal, slow marge, took like 20 to 30 freakin' minutes. so we haven't been back until tonight.

we get there around 6:00 p.m. and were happy to see that not only were there people in there, but at least three staff people. unfortunately, again, we were saddled with another inept employee. miss i-don't-care- about-your order asked us two or three times whether we wanted our sandwiches toasted (warmed up tuna blows, just in case you didn't know), what kind of cheese (don't need no cheese on tuna) we wanted, and pretty much skimped on our sandwiches. nice.

jimmy john's, you may be a wee bit longer to get to, but we are so there. we'll never cheat on you again!

The Score: Me = 2, PB = 0

yesterday we had our weekly staff meeting and i was singled out twice by coworkers to help with new projects. poor pb with her new cabbage patch hairdo (it's soooooo hideous) wasn't asked to do anything. guess it's best not to brag that you are only full up with four projects bee-yoch.

How I Love The Sleuth Channel

because they have the smarts and the balls to broadcast "miami vice" in all its pastel splendor, every night at 7:00 and 10:00 p.m. cst. where else can you enjoy the big hair, spandex, cigarette boats, and cheesy but great lines like, "i'm going to clear my desk of everything and spend the next six months making your life miserable."

james sonny crockett. hot and sassy. can it get any better? now, if only the freakin' sci fi channel would get off their lazy arses and stop showing crap like "python 5" or "attack of the giant ants" and give us what we really want--all the buck rodgers and battlestar galatica reruns (from the 80s, natch) as possible. is that so much to ask? is it?

apparently the losers at that station would rather show all the drek that dean cain, louis gossett jr., and lou diamond phillips ever made. it's a travesty people, a travesty!

Not So Sex In The City

so i finished the lipstick jungle by candace bushnell, author of sex in the city and i have to say, it was not a fun read. i thought it would be like chick lit with substance or depth, but i really felt stressed most of the time. why? because the three main characters--one is the head of a studio, one is a famous fashion designer, and the other is the head of a magazine, on her way up in that industry--spend the entire novel worrying about losing their jobs.

now, if you have ever been laid off or fired or maybe even both, you know the stress of being unemployed. to say it sucks is like saying the sky is blue or the pope is catholic. it sucks, sucks, sucks. so, reading an entire book, thinking that one of these characters is going to get axed and have to downsize her whole life, well, it's just not what i call fun. besides, i already read something like that a month ago or so, and it just wears you out. i don't even remember what the book was, but lordy, talk about depressing. the woman lost her job, her husband, her snazzy apartment, etc. yuck!

from now on, it's jackie collins all the time.

Maybe It Was The Soy Sauce

we had sushi (we call it squish), as part of our weekly routine/treat, and was so gooooooood. we went on friday and unfortunately sat in front of a less-than-stellar sushi chef. not today, though. no, we had the very, quiet and nice apprentice guy and his sushi rocked.

not sure if it was the soy suace, but we came home, did some reading and then i conked out for at least an hour. i feel like, even though i love napping, well, some times i sleep a whole heckuva lot. maybe i lose sleep during the week, maybe my body feels like it's not supposed to get up at 5:30 a.m., i don't know.

one of these days, i am going to get off my very lazy duff and go back to the gym, every day, where i belong. maybe then i would actually have energy. then again, i might be even more tired.

but i sure as hell ain't giving up the squish.

I May Have Converted The Adorable Hubby

. . . to napping, one of life's greatest pleasures, no doubt. usually, the cute one tells me that i'm sleeping my life away, as i do nap on both saturday and sunday. as mentioned in a previous post, i come from a family that not only are die-hard nappers, but also take to their beds whenever they are home. cereal.

honestly, you would think we're the biggest bunch of bums or invalids, but again, you would be wrong. my parents, sister, and brother are all go-go-go kind of people, always on the run, working their tails off (and my dad is even retired, true story). which may explain the addiction to their beds. so, although i do enjoy cheeseburgers and hate waffles, i can say i'm part of the clan. but there are days where i think i'm adopted, for shore.

anyway, normally the husband gives me a lotta grief for recharging my batteries, but the siren of the nap is strong and i am a slave to its call. there are worse things in life, no? well, today i may have finally converted the non-napper. we had breakfast at our usual place (the classic cup) and then ran what seemed like a gazillion errands, but in reality, it was only three (pier one, party central, and target). we needed to go to costco, but we came home instead, starting watching a fascinating show about tornados on the national geographic channel, and realized we weren't going to make it through the afternoon.

yes, i can admit, i was the first one to crawl into bed. the girls came next--they are so smart. like their mom (that's me). and finally, the cute one gave up and crashed. guess we both needed it as we slept almost three hours. i feel a conversion coming on!

Oh, To Be A Jetson

remember a cartoon called "the jetsons"? there was george (the dad), jane his wife, judy and elroy (the kids), and astro (their dog, a robot). oh, and the maid, rosie, who was also a robot. now, it wasn't just that these people could drive little ships around like cars. and transport up and down to their apratment/house/pad through clear elevator tubes.

nope, it was that jane and judy could pick out their hairdo everyday using this monitor. they didn't even have to shower! talk about a time saver. cereal.

one of the things i hate about getting up is showering. and lest you think i like to be stinky, sweaty, or grody in general, you would be dead wrong. i do like to be clean. and when i take showers, i scrub myself silly. but it's the shaving that blows and i even use that nifty intuition razor, which eliminates the need for soap or shaving cream, so it makes showering even faster and easier. but, i still think it's a chore. and why is that? i don't really know. but what i can tell you, is that it would be rocking cool to be a jetson.

Dreaming

i have always been an avid dreamer. and by that i mean that i must have a really active subconscious, as i dream a lot. most mornings i do remember my dreams. today's was wretched as in my dream i was not only bit by spider (ewww!), but our two adorable kittens, abby and nikki, were being trapped in spider webs being spun by three spiders. total ick.

anyway, a few years ago, me and the adorable hubby rented a movie called "final fantasy," which was based on a video game (get your mind out the gutters people!). and the neat thing about the flick, besides the animation, which was incredible, was that it presented an idea that i wish was reality. the movie starts off and it's this dream sequence and the main character wakes up and they were able to tape her dream using a vcr/dvd thing. what i wouldn't give to have something like that. i could easily keep a therapist busy for years with that kind of technology available. one day i guess.

which brings me to my next topic--day dreaming. who among us does not have an active imagination? a life that goes beyond the daily grind? in the very wonderful movie, "shakespeare in love," gwyneth paltrow's character, viola de lesseps, says to her nurse, "I would stay asleep my whole life, if I could dream myself into a company of players."

granted, i don't while away my day dreaming of being an actor, but i do have a wonderful imaginary world. a world where i can do and be anything i want to be. head of a movie studio. princess. superstar. whatever. the problem is, this place does not exist in my dreams. which is unfortunate because then i would really look forward to going to sleep.

and this takes us to the last topic of the evening. our bed. when we moved into our house almost three years ago, we made the decision to invest in decent mattresses. so we bought a king-size stearns and foster mattress and box-springs. and let me say this, what a heckuva investment that was. not only is it a fantastic marriage bed (ahem, we do sleep well!), but it's like the most awesome bed i've ever slept in period. better than that bed we slept in at the beverly hotel in la and that bed was rockin' cool. the duvet alone was heaven. anyway, our bed is a sanctuary for me. i have to say whether it's going to sleep at night or napping on the weekends, our bed is the place to be.

the adorable hubby doesn't really get my napping addiction, but then again, he didn't come from a family of nappers. i mean, i don't know if it's genetics, but my whole family takes to their beds like invalids. which is funny because they are all active sons of guns. i always wanted to write that. so there you have it. anyway, if you ever want to find me on a saturday afternoon, your best bed is my bed. in fact, i hear it calling my name, so nighty-night y'all.

A New Word For You

the adorable hubby loves, loves, loves cereal. i've seen the boy eat it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. sometimes, yes, even two bowls. so cereal plays a major role in our grocery shopping. and if you think about it, our life. because i am always on the lookout for a toy in one of the cereal boxes and will scope the entire cereal display to see if there is a new gizmo, t-shirt, or something else to send away for. i'm a sucker for that stuff, i admit it. we all have vices, right? okay, okay, i'm a slave to the sushi, which we call squish. but man oh man, it's so yummy! could eat it every day. which makes it my cereal, you know?

so the word cereal has taken the place of serious. if we're talking and i mean to say "serious" i use "cereal." surprisingly, i've even incorporated this kickass term at work. yay, i get some weird looks until i explain it, but life is too short to be serious. cereal.

My New Favorite TV Show

ever watch "miami ink" on tlc? we just got into it and i have to admit that:

a) ami, the guy that owns the tatoo place is quite cute (still the adorable hubby is my hottie!)
b) they must make a shitload of cash
c) i always thought tatoos were skanky, but these guys create works of art--some are masterpieces. seriously.
d) now i want a tiny dragonfly on my ankle
e) having a job where you wear t-shirts, jeans, and tennis shoes has got to rock (still working in shorts and t-shirts, or better yet, pajamas, would be the ultimate. then again, not having to work would be best, no?)

and on a separate note, thank goodness "the l word" is back and much better than last season. now they just need to get dana and alice back together and bette needs to take a valium. she just got back with tina and is already regressing back to her bossy behavior in season 1. jenny is still a freak, but helena is acting like a nice, normal human being. my bet is that she's on drugs, as last season she was a girl-friend stealing, hell-bitch she-devil. and that's putting it politely people.

It's Raining Girl Scouts . . . Cookies That Is

those girl scouts are smart little suckers. not only did they create the most addictive cookie in the universe (thin mint rules!), but they have infiltrated corporate america, hobby lobby, grocery stores, etc. what's next people? i figure it's just a matter of time before they storm our streets and we become their willing junkies. then again, would that be so bad?

Wouldn't You Know It

so me and oscar the not-so-grouch-lately are talking with one of the project managers and this guy wheels a moving cart into our area and starts putting stuff away into my official supervisor's old cube. don't know who the fella is, but wouldn't you know it, he's got a fish carved in wood with the word "jesus" on his shelf. creepy!

so i email the adorable hubby and tell him about it. and he writes back that he is going to use his router to carve "satan" for me. isn't he the sweetest? yay, i think so too!

The Future Is A Scary Place . . .

if there is any truth regarding "the island" starring ewan mcgregor and scarlett johansson. like that icky movie "minority report" (not one of steven spielberg's best flicks), i think the day is coming where we won't be actually able to get away without being tracked by big brother, our credit companies, whoever. and that's scary.

What Happens When You Get What You Want

when i started at the company i work at, a year ago december, it was an interesting arrangement. technically i belonged to a certain division and department, but i was assigned to a specific division and group. which worked well, because i happen to really like the group i'm in. i mean, everyone in my group is super smart, talented, and considered the "go to" folks. which is a big deal when the president of the company and the division assign you projects. and not your every-day run-of-the-mill projects. nope. we're talking high-profile, big deal projects. so being in this group is, well, a big deal. and i am considered very lucky. and i am. i mean, i knew coming in how lucky i was, just by meeting with the people once in an interview.

okay, so the official department and division i'm in are okay. i had actually finally adjusted to being part of them, as i had been mentally fighting any association for the past year, as i tend to think, well, i know a lot more about what they actually do than they do. but i had finally kinda gotten used to the idea and given up hope of ever being officially part of the group in which i'm assigned.

so at 3:30p .m., my official supervisor (who i see maybe once a week) called me and said, "can you meet with me and x (her boss) at 4:00 p.m.? we want to discuss a new policy with you." now, seriously, what would you think. well, as usual, i thought it had to do with either my performance, or the rivalry/fight going on with the pb, as you can only hide your dislike for someone, so much. i mean i ignore her in meetings (not obviously, you mind)--i just never look her way and never speak to her unless i absolutely have to, which is like never thank goodness. maybe i mentioned i loathe her?

and after being scorched by my deceitful, backstabbing previous supervisor at the toxic waste dump, well it took awhile, okay a year, to get my paranoia under control, as usually when i see two people talking quietly or whispering, or behind closed doors (all the offices have windows), i tend to get super paranoid, that yes, it's about me. i know, i know--i'm horrifically narcissistic. seriously, i got that i have a problem. i just freak out. i can't help it. anyway, i had this paranoia licked until this afternoon and then it went bonkers. imagine opening pandora's box and a hive of wasps flying out. yup, that was my paranoia today.

alright, so i show up for the meeting and i'm sitting, at least for a minute, seemed like longer, with x, until my official supervisor and the other two people who do what i do--one i like (she's cool) and the horrific pb. who thankfully showed up late. anyway, x talked about how the job families have been re-arranged and how the costs are in these three tiers. and the bottom line is, we're being rolled out to our prospective divisions. which is what i wanted all along. but in the course of getting myself worked up, i must have had the look on my face like i was gonna hurl at any minute. because x and the daily supervisor kept looking at me like they thought i was going to pass out or need a barf bag.

i think if anything it was shock. shock because it's what i wanted since the day i started. shock because it makes the most sense for the work we do and the groups we work with every day, all year long. and shock because sometimes you actually get what you want.

now, if i can just win the lottery!

The Rollercoaster That Is Our Freakball Weather

in further evidence that living in cowtown is a crapshoot, tomorrow the weather idiots are predicting a high of 33 degrees and snow, with highs in the 60s on wednesday and thursday. which brings us to friday, which may include more snow.

bottom line: spring can't get here freaking fast enough. like now!

Tea For 2

so me and mum go to the "traditional tea" at the fairmont hotel, soon to be called the intercontinental hotel. and it was pretty good. which it should be for $28/per person. wanna know what that buys? glad you asked. we each got our own tea pot--mine had a berry-flavored tea, which was sweet, although i enjoyed mixing in lotsa white and brown lumps of sugar. mom ordered chamomile, which i think is a soothing tea. seems like every time you read a book where the main character needs to feel better, it's chamomile to the rescue. am i wrong?

then they brought, yes, the three-tired thing that had finger sandwiches on the bottom, pound cake in the middle section, and pastries on the top tier. they also gave us both ramakins that had fresh whipped cream, lemon curd, and a scone (each). and most of it was tasty--i liked the crab-salad sandwiches, the salmon sandwich, the eclairs, fruit tarts, and cream puffs (all bite size). the scone, not so much. i get why the british call them scones. calling them by their real name, biscuits, doesn't sounds as hoity-toity. you say scones and you think, man, that sounds classy. really people, don't let the name fool you. it's a biscuit. thing needs a lotta butter and maybe some honey. seriously.

our server, mara, who was very friendly, is from argentina, and is working on her hotel/hospitality degree, which i thought was cool. and she was very down-to-earth and not at all snobby. which is important, because as one of the nicest hotels in the city (the other two include the hyatt and the westin), you know it's going to be posh and the staff is used to waiting on really rich people. which we are not. at least not me. but, this was my mom's birthday gift, so hopefully she enjoyed.

and i would pay serious dough for that awesome china, which was very lady-like and dainty. okay, so that's not me either, per se, but it appealed to the girly girl in me. and damn if i am not wanting some of those brown and white sugar lumps the next time i have oatmeal. sweet!

Timing Is Everything

or so they say. and whoever "they" is, i think they are on to something. and i can say this, because in the last three weeks, i've run into the psychobitch in the office, when maybe 30 seconds either way on all occasions, i would have missed that mental case. which would have been really nice. because every time she sees me, she has this look on her face. it's kinda like looks like she's ingested a bag of lemons. or something nasty. i mean, it's not a happy face.

kinda reminds me of that great "sex in the city" episode, after carrie has dumped aiden (thank god!) and she runs into this character named nina somebody in this restaurant bathroom and nina realizes who carrie is, because she [nina] dated aiden after carrie dumped him, and she makes this face. and that's kinda the face that the pb makes.

i cannot even imagine what my face looks like when i see her, as i try to be impassive, but one of these days i would really like to snarl. and then maybe stick out my tongue at her. and then eventually bare my teeth like a vampire. somehow, i have a feeling i would never get away with it, cuz there would be somebody around to actually see me and then i would end up looking like the loony one. or at least petty. or both. not good.

somebody please tell me the value of taking the high road. please.

A Good Movie You Should See

we watched "murderball" last night (got it from the library, natch) and it was awesome! tried to watch the akira kurosawa (spelling?) flick "ran", but the vhs tape was jacked up, so we may actually have to rent that from blockbuster. sucky, but worth it.

hoping to see "munich" and "syriana" sometime tomorrow, but am doing, god i can't believe this, a traditional tea with me mum (how's that for a wee bit of english accent?) at the fairmont hotel. now, let me say this, i do like tea and have always wanted to try a scone and i'm probably a sucker for those little sandwiches with the crusts cut off and i would really like to try some tea cakes. but an hour-and-a-half with my mom, who i just recently kinda reconciled with? was hoping to take her next month for her bday, but like an idiot, i called yesterday to make a reservation, only to be told that they don't know if they plan to continue offering it past next tuesday.

hence, we go to tea tomorrow. which i hope will be a nice affair. although, i did have this whacked out dream that we went, and it was kinda like a buffet, and we loaded up our plates and then there wasn't any more because we didn't pay after the first course, but nobody told us, so we ended up leaving. i think. and i didn't even get to try these blueberry cheesecake things. which is a bummer, even if i was dreaming.

Glad I Gassed Up

. . . since i drove by qt on my way to work yesterday and it went from $2.23/gallon (sick) to $2.32/gallon (sicker). who the hell sets these frickin' prices anyway? makes me wish i had a vespa (candy-apple red, natch) and that i only worked like a few blocks from home. or, better yet, we won the lottery and didn't have to work at all. and then i wouldn't care how much gas cost. okay, i'm not that shallow. after all, we would have to gas up the boat to go fishing. i'm kidding!

ever think about all the things you would do if you won the lottery? me and the ah talk about it quite a bit. after paying off the mortgage and the car loan (the ah drives a honda crv, and yay, it's a good vehicle), and doling out $$ to the various family members, we would definitely relocate to a warmer climate. living in cowtown is alright, but the weather is like a roulette (spelling?) wheel. one day it can be 70 and the next day 36, no joke. and our local weather people are just idiots.

probably the best of the lot is gary lezak, who we call the sleazstak, in reference to "land of the lost", a favorite tv show of the ah. i remember the family as the gal had the same name as me (different spelling though). i also remember that show "sigmund and the seamonsters"--can't figure out why neither one of these is on dvd yet, as everything else from our childhood is.

and in an unrelated note, i think the ah's a.d.d. is starting to rub off on me.

One More Funny

so we're sitting in our portal/website meeting and the super smart daily supervisor (ssds) is talking. and he looks at pb and says, "you look scared. why do you look scared?" and the pb starts vehemently denying that she is afraid. it was beautiful. have i mentioned that i hate her guts? well, now you know.

unfortunately, i'm stuck in a four-hour meeting tomorrow morning with that loon, and i'm not looking forward to it. the upside is that i've bequethed her a nickname in the halloween story i wrote for a contest and it makes me smile every time i think of it.

so, i'll post the story this weekend for anyone who wants to read a masterpiece. i'm kidding!

Open Letter To The White Izuzu Rodeo On I-35

dear white izuzu rodeo:

thanks so much, ever so much, for not allowing me to merge into the right lane, and almost causing me to drive onto the shoulder. really. i mean, you saw me coming down the entrance ramp, with my left-turn signal clearly on, and you could have just slowed down a wee bit and let me in.

but oh no, you just had to drive by and block me from merging. thanks. next time i see you, with your tinted windows, the shoe will be on the other foot. and you will feel the pain of me tailgating your sorry ass.

sincerely,

princess superstar

p.s. if you want continued practice with cutting people off, get onto the 435-west entrance ramp from roe every day, thereby cutting off all the nice folks that enter from nall. like me. that need to merge onto the highway and cut over three lanes, just not to be thrown onto metcalf avenue. but hey, you did a good job today, so you may not need the practice motherfucker.

Jackie Collins Is Da Bomb + A New Year's Gift

have to say that reading a jackie collins book is like brain crack. and that's a good thing when your brain needs to turn off. my guilty pleasure in life is us weekly magazine, which the ah calls my crack mag and he's right. it's so bad, it's good. i mean, really, it covers the whole hollywood/celebrity scene, which is so vacuous and vapid and shallow. but i love it! i don't care if it's celebrity worship.

okay, so back to jackie. i just finished "chances," and i can't wait to get the next one from the library. lordy, her books are fun.

and as evidence that good things do happen to bitchy chicks like me, the dealership called and nothing was wrong with the car and they were not going to charge us anything. at all. so, they worked on it all yesterday afternoon and this morning to get it started, drove fine, turned over repeatedly, and usually they would charge us, i'm sure, for the time. they think the engine got flooded, but lord knows how that happened. it's driving fine now and it feels good to be zooming around town in my lean, mean green machine.

maybe i'll get really lucky and my crack mag will arrive in the mail on friday. yahooza!