Oh, But The Difference A Day Makes

i feel like the last couple of weeks were a storm that circled and raged--sometimes i wondered if it would all pass over. if the sun would come out. if things would right themselves. if things i thought broken were actually fixable. and the answer was yes. to all.

i wasn't sure if i would ever come out of the benadryl haze. the stuff actually does leave your system. i wondered if the cabbage patch head and i would ever have a honest conversation about the tension between us. we did. turns out that she's miserable in our group and wants out. who knew? more on that in another post, but the main point is, she's not my enemy. guess what? that feels really good. it's tiring hating someone all the time. it just wears you out. and it's juvenile.

i wondered if i would have the inner strength to apply for another position in our group--similar to the one i applied for a few months ago that i didn't get. i turned in the application today--the same day the new position posted. will i get the job? truth is, i doubt it. my supervisor (the new one) and my previous supervisor both had my job for six years before moving up and they are both are of the mindset that you have to do the job for that length of time before being promoted. sad, but true. is it going to stop me from going balls to the wall ins the interview, creating a nifty leave-behind on why they should choose me, lining up solid references, etc.? hell no. if anything, i'm inspired to really pour it on.

and probably the thing that mattered most--me and the twin are going to meet up for happy hour this thursday. maybe it was timing as i received a card from her when i got home, but i emailed her this morning and it turns out what i thought was broken was never really broken. i'm going to have to work on not overreacting to everything as nothing is as dire as i tend to think it is.

the last pieces? well, this girl has finally got to go back to the gym and eat right. and i think i'm finally, really finally ready to do both. doesn't mean i'm giving up sushi or cheeseburgers or cookies or ice cream. just means i need to manage them better. i'm tired of looking awful and being out of breath and feeling unhealthy.

which leaves me with the mother unit issue, which is just not resovable, but manageable. i've decided less interaction is more, so i'm on the "we'll see them when my sister comes into town and that's it" plan. other than maybe thanksgiving, that will be the only time this fall we plan to interact with them. just too much work and there's no point spending time with people who condemn you for not making their decisions. i'm over it.

so this is going to sound drippy, but it's good to me. i married the man of my dreams, i've got a nice house, two adorable kitties, a decent job, great friends, a loving sister and brother, my health, and my happiness. and we're going to tampa in about three weeks. yahoo!