It's True: I Am A Fat Pirate

i actually heard someone say at work the other day, as they surveyed the latest amount of food in our kitchen area, which hey by the way, is right by my cube, "i feel myself getting fatter." which would actually apply to me, as my skirts are tighter with good reason.

i can say that in my 17 years of working that i have never worked at a place, including the restaurant company that i worked for that has more food around. every day, i swear, is like someone's birthday, it's brought in for a meeting, or some kind of celebration (baby/wedding shower, promotion). honestly, it's like the "seinfeld" episode where elaine gets addicted to having cake every day. it's the same deal. and people bring in, oh my gosh, pies (like all kinds--apple, chocolate cream, etc.) and cakes, and bagels and pastries, and candy. in my life, i don't think i've ever scarfed so many sweets. it's truly and seriously unbelievable.

in the same vein, our hospital is closely aligned with hallmark--helps that we are located right next door (literally) to their corporate headquarters, but the company has always done stuff for us. whether it's donating tons and tons of money, decorating for christmas, building a hospital retrospective display, etc., those folks are serious about giving to us, which is nice.

one of the really interesting and amazing things i learned in the last month is that hallmark donates tons of product to the hospital, which gets stored in our warehouse, which is about 15 minutes from our office. and by tons of stuff, i mean things like stickers, thank-you notes, gift bags, wrapping paper, left0ver promotional items (easter bunny stuffed animals), paper tablecloths, etc. a lot of it is given away at the hospital to patients or sold in our gift shop, which i think is quite nice.

here's the thing. it's turned into a weird obsession for me. let me explain. my bff at work, nancy, took me over there about a month ago. she needed these blue vinyl bags to ship for a conference for our supervisor (who has been a real pain in the ass of late). anyway, while nancy, the workhorse, was loading her car with boxes of the blue bags, i was like on my own personal shopping spree. i think i collected enough bags/boxes of thank-you notes to last me a year, and if you knew how many thank-you notes i buy and go through, you would realize this is a huge amount. no drop in the bucket, let me tell you.

i also picked up a bunch of different gift bags (small ones, happy birthday ones, etc.), and some awesome pink wrapping paper. i went, i will say it, absolutely and completely beserk. now, was i stealing? depends on your definition, as the nice warehouse guy, tony, who was unloading palette after palette of more product, told me that it all gets thrown out all the time, especially by the end of the year because we get more and more product and there simply isn't room for all the product that is shipped to us.

not a bad problem to have. i had to go back over to to the warehouse to pull products for an event that i'm running on my birthday (only the morning, thank goodness), so i had a legitimate reason to pick up a variety of stickers, harry potter products (party hats, cups, and stickers), which totally filled up my car. so i took that opportunity to pick up more thank-you notes that i didn't get the first time.

well, the nice folks in purchasing called to say that hallmark just donated a bunch more stuff and would i want to look through everything to see if there might be something else to pull for the event. so tomorrow, me and the bff are trekking back to the fab warehouse. i am almost giddy!

i really can't explain this--i think it's like knowing you want something and you can get as much as you want of it and you don't have to pay anything. it is the proverbial candy store and i am in its thrall.

anyway, i will provide a pilfer report tomorrow as i am sure to pick up some additional goodies!