If Only There Was An Off Button

for things like bad dreams. last night, the adorable one got home around 12:30 a.m. from his trip to sparks, nevada, where he played golf and toured his jobsite. i had fallen asleep before he got home, but interestingly i woke up right before he made it to the house. was so awesome to see my man, as he had left on sunday, and even though it was only two days, it's just hard to be here without him.

maybe it was the excitement of having him home, but it took me a while to conk out. when i did i had this bizarre dream that i was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder (probably a secret fear of mine, along with being abandoned) and i had to hang out at this weird sanitarium. it kinda reminded me of an orphanage from a charles dickens novel--it was old and run down. and the guy who ran it, well, he gave me the creeps--like he was the type that would barge in on you if you were taking a bath and act like it was an accident, even though you both knew it wasn't.

i'll never really understand my dreams. or why they are so vivid. or so active. in last night's dream, it was like i had forgotten a pair of shoes or slippers, so i had to go back to this place after hours. i used my badge (like i have at work), but it was almost like i wasn't supposed to be there. like i said, very weird.

what i wouldn't give to turn off my dreams as they make no sense and leave me with a bad feeling. it's not the first dream of late that has stuck around for a day. just wish i could make them go away or turn them off forever.

i've talked to people that don't dream or don't remember their dreams. seriously lucky bastards.