I Got My Wish, So Why Do I Feel So Bad?

my sister, who is less than two months away from giving birth to her second son, talks with me on a weekly basis. now, most of the time it's like being grilled by a reporter as she fires questions off before i can get a sentence finished, but that's besides the point. heather is a real sweetheart and while i do get along with her husband (dave), my parents hate him. and have so for as long as heather and dave have been together, which is 17 years. half her life, true story.

now, we haven't seen heather, dave, and brandon (we call him little b) for a couple years now. they were supposed to come in october, but it didn't work out. we understood, but my parents (god love them), didn't take it as well. and when my folks went to visit in december, it was a disaster as my dad loves to egg on dave and my parents are not respectful of being in their home. maybe i'm more of a bitch because my parents know better than to pull the kind of crap they do at heather's house. for example, i don't give a rat's ass if they like iceberg or romaine lettuce (their personal preference), radishes (yuck), or tomatoes (yum) in the salad we serve. sorry, if we make a salad, it's gonna have stuff we like. my dad, on the other hand, pointed out to my sister that because her salad didn't have radishes and tomatoes, it was substandard. now, who in their right mind says that kind of stupid shit? it's a fucking salad.

nor would i put up with my mom interfering with my marriage like she does with my sister's. i simply wouldn't tolerate it and our relationship would be finished. and i do mean that. i would walk away from them and i think they know that. hence, they thankfully keep the button pushing to a minimum.

so when we announced that we were going to visit my sister's family the first weekend of april, roughly three weeks after the birth of the new baby, we figured it would be the perfect time as the adorable one had the day off (good friday) and i would take a day of vacation, and we would have them to ourselves. because when it comes to the new baby, i'll admit it, i'm gonna monopolize it. i want to hold it, give it bathes, sing to it, read it stories (i don't care if it hasn't a clue), etc.

yes, yes, yes, i admit i'm not a kid lover. but i do love to hold the occasional baby. not every day. not often. but once in awhile. i used to love holding brandon. singing to him. carrying him around. i loved it, positively. anyway, a few weeks ago my mom asked us while we were having lunch with them if we would mind if they came up with us for the visit.

now, i don't like being put on the spot. what could i say without looking like possessive, immature, and selfish? absolutely nothing. so i played it off like it was no big deal. except it irked me. enough to write a post about it. naturally, i ratted out my parent's plan to my sister, as my mom had no intention of telling her that they were bumming a ride with us and horning in on the visit. i found this especially irritating as my parents are retired and can visit any time. all we have, unless we want to drive and fly up more often, which we really can't afford as other trips are planned for this year, is that weekend. of course, we hope heather's family will come this summer and possibly over the holidays. but that's up to them.

anyway, long story short, my sister, showing serious balls and a backbone, took matters into her own hands and pretty much told my mom that she didn't think it was right that my parents were trying to come up the same weekend as us. and that our focus for that weekend was just to be together, not to have some big ass seder, which supposedly is the reason my mom wanted to come up. whatever. she has her whole family in st. louis for that crazy nonsense. i'm not one for circus productions and that's what that brood lives for. which is why i take after, even in looks, my dad's side of the family.

so now the weekend is ours again. and i'm glad for it. but there's definitely a part of me that feels bad. and i don't know where that part came from. as previously it wasn't there. it didn't exist and i don't even have a clue where it came from. but it feels awful, like i'm not being the bigger person about the whole situation, as i think it would mean a lot to my mom, especially, for us to be together.

so i'm in a quandary. if i ask my sister to change her position, i will also have to set ground rules for my parents. and i don't know if i can do that. because the reality is, my parents are going to do what they want to do. and that could wreck the weekend.

hence getting my way never felt so crummy. or confusing.