An Open Letter To Jason Stratham

dear jason:

can i call you jas? okay, jas you showed a lot of potential in flicks like "snatch," directed by your pal guy ritchie, "the transporter" (cheesy, but great action flick), and the super cool, fun, and snappy "the talian job" with marky mark.

but dude, seriously, what on god's green earth inspired you to take a role in the obviously-rotten-from-the-get-go "the pink panther." i mean, shit, jas--fucking bey0nce, beyonce, the most witless, worthless, talentless loser is in it doing nothing but taking up space.

now, you're starring in "crank," another "transporter ii" look alike. jeez jas, we thought you had taste. we thought you had style. we thought you had a brain.

apparently, we were way wrong. all we can say is, hope you got a mass paycheck for the drek you're showing up in, because if you are actually enjoying this crap, god help you man. god help you.

xoxo,

princess superstar and the adorable one