Crack Whore Shoes

so, there's this one gal on our floor and she's from a foreign country, i'm guessing india or pakistan. just a guess. so, one day i'm in the restroom and she's in there and turns to me and says, "what do you think of my shoes?" now, seriously, i would not have been caught dead in those crack whore pieces of shit. they were open-toed platform sandals with that creepy corkwood material that i hate.

so, i say, "um, they are nice." total lie as usual, but you can't really say something like, "well, i saw the prostitutes wearing those last week, so you're good." she kept asking me as she said she was getting weird looks all day. duh!

here's the kicker. the other day i head to the restroom and she nearly runs me over. naturally, she looks at me like it was my fault. so i get past and go into the bathroom only to be assaulted by the most horrific odor. it was so bad i had to go to a different restroom on another floor. yup, it was that stinky.

moral of the story: she who wears crack whore shoes can literally and figuratively stink up a room.