Fine Lines
example #1: there's a fine line between being barely civil and outright rude
last week i was walking down a hallway and saw the woman who used to be friends with me, who essentially dumped me because, as she put it, "we were going in two different directions." i haven't seen much of her lately, and i'm sad because i still miss her friendship. so i waved to her and i'm pretty sure she saw me as she was facing me, even though she was further down the hallway. and you know what she did? she completely ignored me. whether she saw me or not, it felt like the hugest snub. thankfully, i don't have the time or energy to waste worrying about her.
example #2: there's a fine line between being a malcontent and appropriately defending oneself
i was talking with a coworker, who i respect. i had asked him to serve as a reference, as i am applying for a position (a small promotion) in our group. i fully do not expect to get it, as a coworker (the previously loathed cabbagepatch head) is surely applying as well, and she's been there twice as long as me. it would only make sense as she wants to move up, just like me.
so the respected coworker sat down with me for a "heart-to-heart" about my application for the position, which he chose not to comment on, as he's on the selection committee. what he did say was something to the effect that people talk to him from time to time and lately he had heard that one of my so-called bad habits had resurfaced. essentially, he said that people had complained to him that i was not using resources (essentially that i was hoarding parts of work that other people can do).
so i had to explain that the last two projects assigned were quick turnaround and i handled them myself. but as i pointed out to him, i cannot fix problems or correct what are perceived as errors on my part if people don't speak with me directly. i can't make things better without knowing what the issue may be. so, i gave it back to him.
and told him the truth--that is, i can't sit in my cube and wonder, stew, and speculate about what other people think or say. i can only be responsible for my thoughts, my actions, and ultimately, my behavior. it's quite stephen coveyish, if i say so myself. what others think and do, well, i have not the interest any more to spend all that time wondering and worrying.
all the bad habits i used to subscribe to--the talking behind other's backs, the gossipping, the not keeping confidences--all the things that held me back, are finally part of my past. it's sad that it took so long to make the necessary changes to move forward, but it can be said there's a fine line between saying you'll do something and actually doing it.
last week i was walking down a hallway and saw the woman who used to be friends with me, who essentially dumped me because, as she put it, "we were going in two different directions." i haven't seen much of her lately, and i'm sad because i still miss her friendship. so i waved to her and i'm pretty sure she saw me as she was facing me, even though she was further down the hallway. and you know what she did? she completely ignored me. whether she saw me or not, it felt like the hugest snub. thankfully, i don't have the time or energy to waste worrying about her.
example #2: there's a fine line between being a malcontent and appropriately defending oneself
i was talking with a coworker, who i respect. i had asked him to serve as a reference, as i am applying for a position (a small promotion) in our group. i fully do not expect to get it, as a coworker (the previously loathed cabbagepatch head) is surely applying as well, and she's been there twice as long as me. it would only make sense as she wants to move up, just like me.
so the respected coworker sat down with me for a "heart-to-heart" about my application for the position, which he chose not to comment on, as he's on the selection committee. what he did say was something to the effect that people talk to him from time to time and lately he had heard that one of my so-called bad habits had resurfaced. essentially, he said that people had complained to him that i was not using resources (essentially that i was hoarding parts of work that other people can do).
so i had to explain that the last two projects assigned were quick turnaround and i handled them myself. but as i pointed out to him, i cannot fix problems or correct what are perceived as errors on my part if people don't speak with me directly. i can't make things better without knowing what the issue may be. so, i gave it back to him.
and told him the truth--that is, i can't sit in my cube and wonder, stew, and speculate about what other people think or say. i can only be responsible for my thoughts, my actions, and ultimately, my behavior. it's quite stephen coveyish, if i say so myself. what others think and do, well, i have not the interest any more to spend all that time wondering and worrying.
all the bad habits i used to subscribe to--the talking behind other's backs, the gossipping, the not keeping confidences--all the things that held me back, are finally part of my past. it's sad that it took so long to make the necessary changes to move forward, but it can be said there's a fine line between saying you'll do something and actually doing it.
posted by the princess at 6/12/2006
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