Sometimes I Wonder

if you interviewed a ton of people, how many would honestly tell you if they wanted to be famous. i bring this up as the adorable one and i watch a lot of reality tv--"survivor", "miami ink," "top chef," "american idol," "next foodnetwork star," "america's next top model," "blow out," and probably a few others i've forgotten about. the adorable one has a theory that we could put a picture of some random person on a billboard board, for a month's time, and that person would become locally known.

the adorable one is a very centered, self-assured person. he emanates inner strength because he's always known who he is. i admire him for that, as i struggled through my 20s and a good chunk of my 30s to really get a handle on me. i'm still trying to figure out why it took me so long to get my act together, but the good news is that i'm finally becoming more of the person i want to be. which i think is important.

the reason i mention the whole famous issue is because i couldn't fall asleep last night, so i got to thinking how cool it would be on the foodnetwork's "next foodnetwork star." the thing is, as i mentioned in a recent post, being a chef is a lot tougher than people think it is. and being one on tv is even more difficult, i think. there's so much that you have to be able to do at once, you have to be able to share your personality, you have to be extremely knowledgeable about food, and you have to really love cooking.

then i wondered if i made it onto the show some time in the future (like in two years, if it's still around), what would i make if they asked us to cook a signature dish. or with one particular ingredient, like a potato or a fig. and you would be amazed at how much time i spent thinking about this stuff. i began mentally running through recipes, and picturing myself julienning vegetables, and filleting a fish.

and then i realized that if i was really serious about something like becoming a chef of any kind, one that makes more than signature dishes like tunasalad sandwiches and lasagna made with store-bought sauce, that i would need to take a chance. i would need to buy a bag of onions, like our friendly chef friend suggested, and just start practicing on cutting up vegetables.

seeing that i have quite a bit of free time after work most days, in which i should really be at the gym (sigh!), maybe i should seize the day and the chef's knife and try my hand at chopping. after all, i should start small. and lord knows what i am gonna do with all the diced onions. but, everyone has to start somewhere and if this is what i want, i will have to do more than just write about it.