Some Times

when i am tired or feeling blue, i revert to my old behavior of being paranoid. i tend to think that because a certain person tends to blow me off and act skittish around me that i’ve somehow, some way pissed her off. in this case, i went down to her area and tried to just chat, but fortunately she wasn’t at her desk. previously, this would have been a fact- finding mission to see if indeed the person had an issue, gripe, whatever.

i say fortunately because i need to remember to engage what i refer to as george constanza behavior, and like that hilarious “seinfeld” episode, do the opposite of what i would normally do. you would be surprised at what a great coping method this is. for example, instead of sitting and stewing at my desk, wondering what i could have done wrong, i allow everything to roll off my back and just focus on work. this sounds like a simple thing to do, when in reality, for someone like me, it’s tough.

i just have to remember that not everything is about me, that i cannot solve problems that are not brought to my attention, and if someone has an issue, they need to directly address it. if they can’t, again, not my problem. i can only really and truly be responsible for stuff i’m aware of. here’s an example, let’s say i use a nickname for someone, not knowing that the person hates it. if i don’t know this and think of the nickname as a way of showing let’s say that i like the person or that i’m trying to be friendly, how could i possibly know this is pissing them off. seriously, i’m not a mind reader. although i sure would like to be.

the bottom line in this ramblefest is that i learned yet another valuable lesson today. as i rode up the elevator, i realized that i was lucky that the person i perceive to have an issue with me is just that, my perception. i must be ever strong and diligent not to fall into old behaviors that give other people the upper hand and power over me. therefore, it’s george constanza all the time, 24/7.