Go Away

bad dreams, go away. after blogging this morning, i took a nap (thanks to some tylenol pm, as i had a bit of a headache and no migraine medication) and had the most awful of awful dreams. so really, it was a nightmare. i wish i could say i feel okay, but i'm still feeling sick about it.

so, here's what happened. i was fired from my current job. i don't know why. all i know is that it was instantaneous. all i can remember, in the nightmare, is that it was a wednesday and i was going to be gone the next day.

when i told the adorable one, well, i think it freaked him out, because i didn't get any comfort or reassurance from him. mostly because maybe he thinks it could happen again, even though i'm more secure and safe and happy in a job than i've probably ever been. but that doesn't change the doubt the adorable one has in me. the doubt he refuses to mention.

because it's like cheating. once you've cheated, you'll cheat again. the thing is, i've worked so hard to be a different person at work--the best person i can be. i've talked about it numerous times in the blog, the changes i've made. and if i had to guess i would say this all came from the anxiety of interviewing, the tension from the cph, and the drama between our admin and our technology liaison (long story), which i've been dragged into against my will. even though i'm practicing george constanza!

why, oh why, can't i just dream of scooters? or swimming pools? or key west? arg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!